Monica and Madison

Magic Number 2

2009-10-26T23:57:00.000-04:00

My Madison Grace is 22 months old today! That means that in 2 months she will be 2 years old!! I already have her practicing saying that she is 2 years old. I ask her how old she is and she says two and tries to hold two fingers up but it's more like 3-4 fingers. But it's the effort that counts. Oh man!!! The holiday season is coming up. I'm getting stressed out for more reasons than one. I've been feeling so...I'm not sure how to put it..."out of it" lately. I don't know I feel like I have no routine and things are all out of wack lately. I need to snap out of it and get me butte back in gear. Certain contributing factors aren't helping these feelings that I have been having. Hopefully everything will straighten out within these next few weeks. Because when things get like this I tend to shut down and that isn't good.
Anyways, Maddie's excema is really, really bad again. And it is spreading. I know excema spreads but it has never spread like this before. And she has had excema since she was a few months old. I have tried everything and some of things I have tried work for a little bit and then the excema comes back full force again. The skin on her legs especially is so inflamed and tough. She scratches all the time and we are both sick and tired of this excema problem. I took her to the pediatrician today and she gave me a prescription for a medicine that is for her itching. I'm making an appointment tomorrow with an allergist so we can figure out what is the best way to treat her because this excema business is not pretty.
I can't wait for Halloween so I can take Maddie trick-or-treating and dress her up in her super cute costume. I've been wanting to take her to the pumpkin patch. Hopefully tomorrow! So if all goes well I should have pictures up of the pumpkin patch soon! But that is about it for now.

Wordless Wednesday--Friends

2009-10-21T14:04:00.001-04:00

October Update

2009-10-15T00:51:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in two weeks!!! We've been pretty busy. Actually sick and busy. My household has had a vicious cycle of sickness going on. Maddie hasn't gotten it though thank God. I did but usually I just take over the counter medicine and I am okay. My cousin gave birth to a 9lb. 10oz. 22in. baby boy named John Christopher on October 2. So we were a little occupied with the new arrival for a few days...

I took Maddie over to visit last week. It took her a little bit to notice him, I think because he is so little. She loves babies and other kids though. It's so fun to watch her interact with other little ones...

Another thing that had been keeping me preoccupied was that I met a boy. A really, really attractive boy. Don't worry it was a short lived flame. He turned out to be as big of a jerk as he was cute. It was one of those things where he would tell me how gorgeous I was and how he thought about me all the time when I wasn't with him and how he missed me. And then without much of an explanation, basically just stopped talking to me. I mean, there is a little more to the story, but none of it is necessarily my fault and it's not like the situation couldn't have been talked about. But whatever, you win some, you lose some, and you move on. I've become a champ at that!

I should focus on schoolwork more anyways :-). This semester doesn't seem like it will be too hard. I do have big projects that are due by the end of the semester so I need to get started on those. The holiday season coming up will be stressful enough without adding my wonderful quality of procrastination into the mix.

Speaking of stress, my mom is getting a historectomy on Monday. So Maddie will be going to a babysitter until my mom recovers and when my stepdad can't watch her while I am at school and work. Today was the first day I left her with the babysitter while I was at school. I was a little stressed about it, I'm not gonna lie. But she was fine. The babysitter lives across the street and she is a friend of my family. She said that Maddie did great. She watches an 8 month old during the day also. Which of course she said that Maddie loved and when she put the baby down for a nap Maddie started looking around for her as if she was wondering where the baby went. MY baby didn't cry when I left her (even though mommy almost cried). But she gets so excited when I go to pick her. When she saw me she tossed the toy she was playing with, ran into my arms, turned and immediately said bye to her babysitter! She was really excited to see me when I picked her up on Monday too after leaving her for about an hour so she could get familiar with the babysitter and her house. But then when we got home today I put her down for a nap and she screamed and screamed. Which is something she never used to do. She used to never complain when I told her it was nap time she always laid right down and went to sleep. Within the past week or so she whines when I go to put her down. And today, she screamed. Maybe it was because she was a little thrown off with everything going on this morning. I don't know, maybe it is just a phase. Hopefully it will just be a whining phase and not a screaming bloody murder phase. And I know she still needs her naps. She's not ready to make it through the day without one. I don't think mommy is ready to make it through the day without one. That's another thing. I've been so tired lately. It's like I can't make it through the day without a nap and I don't know why. I love naps don't get me wrong. But I don't like the feeling of sleeping the day away either. Maybe I just need to stop going to bed around 12:30 and 1:00 every night. I've been waking up early lately and I'm so used to going to bed late. I need to work on that.

This weekend is my best friend's 21st birthday so it's going to be a late night weekend but it should be fun. Then Monday my mom has her surgery and Thursday we have family coming into town. I took Friday off so I can spend time with my family and I'm taking my cousin that is visiting from North Carolina to Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens. They are leaving the following Monday or Tuesday and then comes Halloween. I can't wait to dress Maddie up in her costume!!!! She looks soooooo cute!! I'm not going to say what she is yet, you'll have to wait for pictures :-).

Well, I've stayed up unti 1am again and I have to get up early to take Maddie to her play group and we have a few other things to do tomorrow also. So I am calling it a night.

Wordless Wednesday--Maddie and her Teddy Bear

2009-09-30T19:35:00.001-04:00

Popsicle Eatin' Toddler

2009-09-26T14:41:00.002-04:00

Brain Freeze!!!

...Oh yeah...this popsicle eatin' toddler is 21 months old today! Three more months until my little girl is two years old!!!

An Empty Parking Lot

2009-09-22T22:13:00.000-04:00

~~Today was the first day of my classes this semester~~, so I thought! I woke up early and made the 30 minute drive to my school just to pull in to an empty parking lot. Apparently school doesn't start until next week. IN MY DEFENSE..ever since I have been at that school we have gotten a week break in between semesters and now all of the sudden they give us two weeks. Oh well... at least Maddie got to go to the park out of it since mommy was already up early and dressed.

Madison loves "people watching". She is so nosy she will stop and just stare at people.

A Rhyme

2009-09-20T18:25:00.002-04:00

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead,

And when she was good,

She was very, very good,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

...me as a little girl with a curl at 5 years old...

Potty Training!!

2009-09-18T14:47:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I bought Maddie an Elmo potty chair. I liked the pink one but Maddie liked the Elmo potty chair that talks when you push Elmo's hand. Along with her potty chair I bought her little pink underwear and rubber pants to go over her underwear. Which I LOVE because there is no horrendous mess when she has an accident. Last night before her bath I sat her on her potty for the first time!

This morning I picked Maddie up out of her crib, put her on the changing table and told her I was putting her big girl underwear on and she to go peepee on her big girl potty not in her underwear. I put her underwear and let her down because I was going to go get the camera and take her picture with her underwear on. When I put her down on the floor she ran right to the potty! She didn't go to the bathroom on it but she sat on it! She remembered her big girl potty from last night right away!

...Maddie this morning sitting on the potty and pushing Elmo to talk.
She peed and pooped in her underwear. Before her nap I told her to sit on the potty and when I looked at the potty the was a little bit of peepee in it!!!! She peed on the potty for the first time and I didn't even notice!! She must have done it when I sat her on the potty while I cleaned off her poopy underwear. So the first day of potty training and Maddie already succeeded. I'm nervous about this whole potty training thing though. It feels like such a big deal. If anyone has any advice please feel free to share! I don't know how consistent this whole thing is going to be though. Of course I'll be doing it whenever I am home but everyone in our house has such different schedules it'll be hard to be potty-training-consistent sometimes. That irritates me. My mom was like she'll get potty trained eventually. Yeah well I don't want to be doing this for a year and a half or two years because noone else is being consistent with her!

Disney Trip #3

2009-09-17T23:44:00.001-04:00

Last Saturday through Monday, Maddie and I were in Disney World with my dad and stepmom who were visiting from Ft. Lauderdale. We stayed in Disney's Port Orleans French Quarter Resort. Which was nice but one of the smaller Disney Resorts that I have stayed in.

This is the opening to the pool. Behind it (you can kind of see if you look close) is a huge water slide that looks like a dragon. Saturday morning we checked into the hotel and then headed over to Magic Kingdom. It was sprinkling most of the day but thank God it didn't get unbearable. My stepmom has most of the pictures from Saturday when we were at Magic Kingdom. I made reservations for that night to eat at a restaurant inside the park called Crystal Palace. It's a really yummy buffet and they have Winnie the Pooh characters that come from table to table. Madison was still not all that thrilled with the characters but she would let them get a little close to her but she would definately let them know when she had had enough! Piglet came over to our table (again my stepmom has the pictures sorry!) and started playing with her a little bit and she tolerated it. Then Piglet started blowing kisses at her and she blew kisses back. I guess she wanted Piglet to leave after she blew the kisses but he stayed there. So Madison started blowing MEAN kisses. I can't really explain what she was doing in writing you had to be there but it was hilarious. On Sunday the plan was to hang around the hotel and then go to Downtown Disney where there are restaurants and shops. We went to the pool in the morning but we weren't there for long because it started raining. It's so cute watching Maddie with other kids. She likes to get in their faces though. She'll wave and say hi and then try to poke them in the face. When we were at the bus stop waiting for a shuttle to go to the park there were three little kids there. I let Madison down and she ran from each kid to the other saying hi. She did this for about 5 minutes and she started getting tired running forom one side of the bus stop to the other. Everyone there was cracking up at her. Anyways, on Sunday after the pool we went to Downtown Disney and ate at the T-Rex Cafe. It's just like The Rainforest Cafe but with dinosaurs.

Maddie was very hungry when we got there but when she got some food in her she looked around at all the dinosars. Every 15 minutes the lights would dim and the dinosaurs would come to life. Maddie thought it was pretty funny and growled along with the dinosaurs. But I think it was a little overstimulating for her because she was getting a little crazy and wasn't sure what to do with herself.

Afetr lunch we went into all the shops. I bought a few bars of goats milk soap and one bar of calomine soap for Madison at a store called Basin. Goats milk soap is supposed to be really good for skin with excema. If that doesn't help Madison's skin I don't know what will because I've tried everything it has never fully cleared up. Later on Maddie danced to the music that was playing there. She was really getting into it! She loves dancing. When we got back to the hotel that night she crashed.

Monday we had intentions on getting up early and going back to the pool since we weren't there for long but none of us could get out of bed. So we checked out and took the boat that took us down the canal behind our hotel to Downtown Disney to eat lunch. We walked around a little more for about an hour. We took her to the water area...

..She got caught in the middle of the water and wasn't to happy.

Needless to say at the end of our trip she was very tired. Here she is on the boat on the way bakc to the hotel where our cars were...

Poor Baby!!

...But she wasn't too tired to have some fun as we were leaving the hotel.

Wordless Wednesday---Maddie at 12 months old

2009-09-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

A few pictures from my cousin's babyshower

2009-09-10T23:24:00.004-04:00

...my cousin holding up her S.S John Christopher sign

...me and Madison Grace

...Sarah and Maddie doing lots of running around

...family picture; Aunt, Sister, Cousin, Mom, Me and Madison

Wordless Wednesday--Sleeping Beauty

2009-09-09T01:26:00.004-04:00

Tickle Monster

2009-09-06T23:59:00.008-04:00

After work today I took Maddie out in the backyard to play. Here is her adventure...

....she wouldn't leave the porch and go on the grass

....she looks like she is posing for the picture

...Joshua and Jason were making silly faces with their eyes and she was trying to copy them.

...one of her new favorite things is "getting" the kids. It's so funny. You tell her to go get them and she says "tickle, tickle, tickle" and runs after them tickling them. Or she just full out attacks them while growling.

...dancing to the latin music the neighbors had playing.

...Playing ball. Maddie got upset when we started playing baseball because she wanted the ball but she still wouldn't leave the porch.

...Cookies after playing!! She was very happy to be sitting in a big chair instead of her high chair.

CLOSER

2009-09-02T23:42:00.003-04:00

It's September!! In about a month or so it will be holiday season!! Holiday season is getting CLOSER. I love the holiday season bbuutt.... it also means more stress. More stress financially. More stress with child care. More stress emotionally. Hopefully this year will be less stressful than last year. But nevertheless, holiday season is getting CLOSER.

Anyways, what have me and Miss Madison been up to these past few days? My cousin had her baby shower on Sunday. Hopefully I'll get some pictures soon. After about 2 years of trying she is pregnant with a little boy. The theme was sailboats and my aunt and their friends went all out with decorations and food. They rented a room at a rec center. They even had real beta fish on some of the tables just to give you one example of what they did. There was a lot of people there. It took my cousin two and a half hours to open all of her presents and about 5 cars to take them all back! Later on that night there were 4 of us trying to organize what she got. We were at her house from 9pm-12am and she still had stuff spread out on her floor! She definately got a lot for her baby boy. By the end of the day though, my nerves were shot from chasing screaming, tired Madison around.

Other than the baby shower we haven't been up to much. I'm almost done with this semester at school. Which I am glad because I need a break! Even though it is only for a week. Next semester I have 2 teaching classes: Child Observation and Record Keeping and Child and Adolescent Development. I also have an Environmental Science class. Not this weekend but next weekend Maddie and I are going to Disney Workd with my dad and stepmom. It should be fun and a nice get away. Hopefully Maddie will behave.

That is about all for now...It's late and I have class early tomorrow morning.

Here is a picture of my little girl...

Caress Me

2009-08-29T00:05:00.005-04:00

Ever since Maddie was a tiny little baby she loved to be "caressed". When my mom was giving her a bottle she would tickle her fingers and her face. She would fall asleep just by tickling her face. Her whole body just relaxes. Now that she is older she still loves for you to caress her. She will literally take your hand and put it on her arm so you will tickle her. Sometimes she rubs her face in your hands because she wants her face to be tickled. A few times I have been woken up in the morning by her squealing. When I open my eyes I see her arms with her palms up sticking out of the bars of her crib because she wants me to tickle her! And if she is sitting in your lap and you are tickling her arm she'll let you know that she has had enough on her arm by sticking her leg in your face because she wants to be tickled on her leg now. This little girl is something else! The other day I was at lunch with my friend and Madison was sleepy and a little cranky....

...she was in heaven when we both started tickling her.
...notice the look she gets on her face

...wanting more!

It's so funny how much she loves to be tickled. I wonder if she'll always be like that or if she'll grow out of it.

Wordless Wednesday--Many Faces of Madison Grace

2009-08-26T13:10:00.005-04:00

Oops

2009-08-24T23:43:00.002-04:00

So, I've done a really bad job on blogging and reading the blogs that I follow lately. I thought I would write a quick little post tonight. I took Maddie to the doctors last Tuesday and she ended up not having an ear infection or anything. I guess what ever sickness she had was just a quick little cold. I also asked the doctor to do draw blood for an allergy test because her excema is so bad. I thought that maybe she has an allergic reaction to something. They called this morning and the test came out negative. Apparently she just has really awful dry skin on her legs. Hopefully she'll grow out of it. We had that appointment early in the morning so after it was over we went to Panera for breakfast and then went to her play group. Like I've mentioned before the play group is every Tuesday for an hour. Last Tuesday she seemed to remember what goes on since the teacher is very repetitive every week. But, Madison seems to have a meltdown in the last 10 minutes or so of the class. I'm sure she'll adapt though and the hour won't seem so long to her. We'll see how she does tomorrow. After her play group my work was having their annual picnic at a local park so I thought I would stop by with Madison. We get there and I walk up to the pavillion and all attention is on Madison and everybody says hi. What does my daughter do? She squeals her high pitched this-isn't-what-I-want-to-do squeal! Everybody was like what was that?! So I turned around and then turned back around towards them and then she squealed again. So I was like okay I guess we should go play on the playground first. Needless to say she was a little on the anti-social side. It's a hit or miss with that kid I tell ya!! She was tired though because we woke up early and I had her running around all morning. But my co-workers and managers were joking around with me all week about her! Even people that weren't there!!
I've been pretty busy. School, work, stuff at the house, Madison, life. I have another pretty big project that is due on Monday. My school is openeing up their Bachelor's Program in Early Childhood Education. I was going to take the entry test for it but I think I am leaning towards just finishing my Associate's and getting my Bachelor's at a University. Two main reasons are because my teacher, who is the director of my program, couldn't give me a definate yes or no to whether or not the school would have an Elementary Education Bachelor's Program and I would really like to keep that option open for me. And two, I don't think I could be at that school for three more years with the kind of class scheduling that they have. It's not flexible scheduling. The classes are either 8:30-12:20 or 6:00-9:50 and they don't always have the classes available that you need that semester. In two or three years I might be in a point in my life that I might be living on my own with a different job and I'll need more flexibility. So, I'm going to hang tight and finish my Associate's in Early Childhood Education and go from there.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-19T11:49:00.002-04:00

Some Randomness

2009-08-14T13:19:00.007-04:00

Maddie doesn't feel very good. She has a very runny nose. She is cranky and I can tell she doesn't feel 100%. There might be a doctor's visit in the near future.

I took this picture with my cell phone just now. She was sitting on the couch watching TV.

Madison had speech therapy this morning. Her therapist is out of town this week so a different therapist came Tuesday afternoon and this morning. I kind of like her better than her permanent therapist. She has better toys and she seemed to keep Maddie engaged a lot better. She seems more organized also.

I don't know if I have mentioned this but Maddie knows all the parts of her face. She seems to be repeating what we say a little more I know she understands just about everything that we say. She still doesn't name objects like ball or baby. She doesn't put two words together yet either. She still squeals when she is hungry or thirsty instead of using her words.

As for me... I'm still keeping my self busy. I've picked my classes for this next semester in school I just have to get my financial aid straightened out. I really hope I don't end up having to pay anything out of pocket. I got a second tattoo on Monday. It's on my back towards my shoulder blade. It's the Chinese symbol for Grace since that is Maddie's middle name. In September we are taking another trip to Disney World with me dad and stepmom. That's about it for right now. Maddie is sleeping and I have to work on some schoolwork.

Anticipated

2009-08-13T23:17:00.005-04:00

Now who could not love this right here. Look at that goofy (but beautiful) little face and those (now long) curls. Things didn't happen the way I wanted them to, the way they were supposed to. I took advantage of the freedom that I had when I was 18. I made some mistakes. I hung around the wrong person. I suffered the consequences. I'm still suffering consequences. I love my daughter. I love my daughter more than anything in the world. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her. And I hate that she has the suffer consequences from MY actions. This is something I struggle with basically everyday of my life. Somedays more than others. Sure she doesn't know anything about what I am talking about now. She will ask about her dad when she gets older and I'm sure she will have plenty of other questions about our lives also. I blame myself to a certain degree in regards to the fact that she is going to go through life without knowing her biological father. I blame myself completely for the fact that I had her at a point in my life when I had no business having a baby (especially one with the person I had her with). I'm not sure if this is making any sense but here is the real reason why I am writing this post....

I have been wanting write this post for a while but I haven't been motivated to get around to it. It's no secret that I have family issues. I know every family has issues. But I feel like my family has an excessive amount. There are issues on both sides of my family. There are complicated and not so complicated issues. They all seem to affect me and/or Madison directly and indirectly. I have shed wayyyyyy too many tears over these family issues. Madison's first Christmas and birthday wasn't the best experience for me because of some things that were/are going on in my family. But that is a long, complicated story that I won't bore you with. Instead I'll bore you with a different not so long but kind of complicated family issue that I want to get off my chest. A little background: My uncle and his wife have 4 kids and 1 on the way. My uncle's wife has 1 daughter from a previous marriage and the rest are my uncle's kids. Her daughter from the previous marriage is more thought of as his biological daughter than a stepdaughter becuase she has been around him and the rest of our family since she was about 3 and she is 13 now. For the about the past 2 years my uncle's family have been going through issues of their own. His wife has some things against my grandparents. Therefore she hasn't let her kids see them much. Which my grandparents are the farthest you could ever get from being bad people and they love their kids and grandkids more than anything. Her and my grandmother just don't go well together. Granted, there are a lot of other issues that I am not going to write down. A lot of things concerning my uncle's wife that I don't know about. But I have talked to my family members and know a good amount of what has happened. But anyways, I went about 2 years without seeing my cousins. The last time I saw them (other than in June when I was visiting) was on my 19th birthday, which also happened to be the day that I told my uncle that I was pregnant. The first weird thing that I noticed was at my babyshower. My uncle was there for a little bit cooking on the BBQ. He was by himself. Then he left early and his wife came for about 15 minutes. The kids never came over. I visited a few times before Madison turned 1. My uncle came by my dad's apartment for about an hour one of the times I was down there. He never brought the kids or his wife. For Madison's first birthday that I had down in Miami for my family that lived down there I sent them an invitation. My family kept saying I don't know if they are coming they haven't said anything. So I called him and left a message saying I really wanted him to come so I could see him and my cousins. A day before, or the day of the party my uncle called saying that he was coming and bringing the two youger kids to the party. He wouln't be bringing my two older cousins. I already knew the reasom why this was happening. And yeah it brought tears to my eyes. I got a better understanding of it when I was down there this June and my grandmother was talking to me about the situation. She told me that before I got pregnant my uncle and his wife used me as a "good example" for her daughter as a young girl that was from a divorced family. When I got pregnant they didn't know how to explain it and they didn't want their kids to see "just the good side" of having a baby young and out of wedlock. They thought if they brought their kids around me that it would send the wrong message. Hello... This is where you talk to your kids. Sit down and explain to them that I made the wrong decisions and it isn't all flowers and sunshine but that we are family and we love each other and no matter what we are supposed to show support. It's not like they don't they have experience in this considering that she was 7 months pregnant as she was marrying my uncle. And they could have sat down and talked to them about the situation, but I don't know. I would even be more than happy to talk to her about what I did and the decisions I have made and how hard it has been. I'm not stupid. I know why I didn't see my cousins for two years and they didn't see my daughter until she was 1 1/2 and that visit wasn't even very long. Don't get me wrong I KNOW the family issue regarding my uncle and his wife are wayyyyyyyyyy beyond me and what I just wrote down is just a little part that affects me. And I know far from everything that has gone on between them. And I am in no way trying to bash anyone in my family. But it still affects me. And it makes me feel like shit when it affects my daughter.

This isn't the only family issue that has affected Madison. No, she doesn't know any of this yet and I never want her to. My kid is no different than any other kid in my family just because I had her before I got married. I don't want her to suffer from my consequences. Especially when the cause is coming from certain people in her own family. I will do all I can do to make sure she only feels the love and positivity from the people that show her that.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-12T13:35:00.004-04:00

Weekend Update

2009-08-09T20:55:00.010-04:00

We've had a busy weekend. On Friday I had all the kids with me. So, I took them to the park like I usually do when I am watching all of them. My friend Christa met up with us...

We were at the park for almost 2 hours. When Maddie started getting tired she started crawling on the floor...

Maddie met another little girl named Madison. My Madison immediately started giving her hiigs and poking her in the face pointing out the little girl's eyes and nose. And then my child got excited and got in the other Madison's face, clenched her fists opened her mouth and shook... Something like the last picture in the post before this one...yes my kid has some odd tendencies. You should have seen the face of the little girl's mother after she did that!! I just laughed and said that she does that sometimes when she gets excited. *Sigh*

First time actually liking the slide...

Maddie and Sarah leaving the park...

Then we took the kids to Dairy Queen. I saw a girl I knew in high school working there. Our boyfriends were friends so we hung out a few times and we all went to prom together. Here are a few pictures from Dairy Queen...(my friend likes taking a lot of pictures)...

And here is Maddie all ready for bed after our day...

Watching iCarly....
And looking very sleepy...

Friday night I went out with my best friend, her boyfriend, his brother who was visiting and another friend of theirs. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing and we were out very, very late. I haven't stayed out all night like that since before I had Madison. Needless to say I was pretty tired Saturday.

Saturday afternoon my best friend Stephanie came over for a little bit. We were in my room talking about the night before and Madison was in there with us. I picked her up on my bed and said who is this? Is that Stephanie? She pointed and said "Dediney" We couldn't believe it! We both made a big deal about it and Maddie got a little embarrassed. Not only is Stephanie the first person she named that lives outside of our house, it's a hard name! Oh, and have I mentioned she says everyones name in the house EXCEPT Mama and Grandma. She says Grandpa, Josh, Jason and Sarah. My mom says its because we are always there for her so she doesn't need to say our names....hmmmm!! Yeah okay.

Today, I went to work and my name wasn't on the floor plan. So my manager told me I could just go home. My mom and the kids went to church and I met them at McDonalds afterwards. Then we went to my cousins house where a friend of our family and her one year old little boy were visiting. I should have brought my camera because they were cute together. Maddie again was trying to poke his face and she was trying to put her arms around him like she wanted to hold him or something. They were interested in each other for about 15 minutes and then they lost interest in each other.

Here are some pictures of Maddie watching the kids play outside today

She has a cute little dress on...

This week should be a little more relaxed than the last few weeks. The house is finally put together after the flood we had in our house and midterms and my huge project are over in school. Tomorrow I am taking Maddie to get her pictures taken at JCPenneys. Tuesday is her playgroup. And I work and have school the rest of the week.

Walking on the Beach

2009-08-05T23:49:00.005-04:00

...cautious in the water (ignore my pasty white albino skin please. And yes my daughter is about 3 shades darker than I am).

...soooo pretty
...her second time at the beach and her first time walking in the sand.

...she wasn't too impressed
...hmmm...I wonder...
....yeah it doesn't taste all that great does it Maddie?!
...doing what ever she could to avoid being put on the sand
She actually wore that hat for a whole minute...longer than I thought she would...

...Madison being overly goofy on the way home.

A Quickie...with no pictures :-(

2009-07-29T16:01:00.003-04:00

I haven't been on the computer much for a while. A water pipe busted in our house and flooded two rooms. So my stepdad and uncle have been painting the rooms and putting wood floor down. The two rooms that got flooded were my parents room and my brothers room, both rooms were the only ones left with carpet. But needless to say our house is a MESS. We can barely walk around the house because all the furninture in the rooms had to be taken out. The floors are dirty and dusty so the house is going to need some deep when everything is finished. For a few days my stepdad, brothers and sister all had to sleep out in the living room. Now my brothers have to sleep in the living room because they are finishing up their room. This has been going on since last Tuesday so hopefully everything will be completely finished by the weekend. Within this past week I have taken the kids to the park-where Maddie chased around a little boy with red pants (she wasn't chasing anyone else, just the little boy with red shorts whenever she would see him!). She was squealing when she was chasing him to like to say "hey, I want you!" I have taken Maddie to a play/music class-where she threw a fit every time they transitioned into a new activity because she wanted to keep playing. Last Tuesday was a trial class and we were going to go yesterday so I could enroll her. For some reason the night before and yesterday morning I kept thinking that the class started at 11:15. So I wake up and get Maddie dressed and I go to get dressed while she is eating. I see that it is 10:45 and then it dawns on me..."Crap, the class starts at 10:15 NOT 11:15!!!" Ugghh, I was so mad! So, I figured I would take her to the park. When I looked outside it was such a nice day out that I had the idea to go to the beach. I called up a few friends and finally got a hold of one that wasn't working. And we headed down to the beach for a spur of the moment trip with Maddie, my brother Josh and my sister Sarah. I didn't take any pictures because my friend was taking all the pictures so I'll get those from her and make a post about it.
Maddie has been a little cranky today and has taken two naps, which she basically never does. I think it's just from being at the beach yesterday and not taking a real nap, so she needs to catch up on some sleep.
I have been busy with schoolwork! I have a huge project that counts as my midterm grade due next Thursday that I am kind of stressing about. And I have to study for a midterm that is on Monday. So I probably still won't be on the computer too much for this week.

Catching Up

2009-07-19T22:04:00.002-04:00

I have been busy this past week with school, Madison, work and just keeping up with life in general. I have quite a bit coming up in school. This semester's classes entail a lot more work. So that can be a little stressful at times. I'm trying my hardest to sort everything out and prioritize. Wednesday night I went out to a bar/club place that is close to where I live to celebrate my friend's 22nd birthday. It was okay, I saw some people that I haven't seen in a really long time. It was really crowded since Wednesday nights are dollar beer nights and my friend got really, really drunk. I'll spare you the details but let's just say she had to get escorted out by security because she was practically passed out in the bathroom. Not only did she have to get carried out by security, she started fighting them as they were escorting her out. Yeah, it was bad. I felt bad because I bought her that last drink even though her boyfriend said to cut her off. I thought she could handle it! Apparently she couldn't!! Tonight Maddie and I went to my friend's moms house to celebrate her birthday with her family and friends. It was a good time and there were two baby boys there, 4 months old and 7 weeks old. At first Maddie wasn't sure what to do with herself but she eventually opened up and started being her silly little self. She was gentle with the babies for the most part but towards the end she started getting cranky and a little rough. At one point we had the 4 month laying on the bed and we put Maddie next to him and she wanted to lay her head on him. She also kept wanting to put her finger in the baby's mouths for some reason.

Tomorrow I'm taking Maddie to get her summer pictures taken at JCPenney. I haven't gotten her pictures taken since Easter so this time she'll be able to stand. She loves getting her picture taken by people other than me so I'm sure they will come out cute. I'm enrolling Maddie in a local Play/Music class that meets every Tuesday for an hour. This Tuesday is our first class so that should be fun. I've also been thinking (more like stressing about) putting Maddie in daycare within the next month or two. I don't know. I put in to get information on one daycare over the internet so they might call me tomorrow. And I'm debating on whether or not I shold call a few daycares tomorrow. I knew I most likely wanted to put her in daycare sometime next year. I am thinking about starting her off earlier than that for possibly 3 days a week. I would try to get all morning classes for school and put her in daycare those days I was in school. But I really don't know how everything works and I need to find out if I can get any financial aid for it. I know there is something out there through the government but I think you have to make very, very little to qualify for that. And I want to put her in a good daycare, I have money in my savings that I can use towards that but I don't want to blow right through it. I know that some daycares have financial aid to help you out and that church daycares have financial aid also. So I guess I just have to look more into it and decide whether or not it is the best thing right now or if I should wait. So we shall see! Well, I guess that is about it for right now. I'll end this post with a few pictures of Maddie playing with her Little People Village.

Not Me Monday

2009-07-13T13:38:00.005-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I have not neglected my diet for this past week and a half.

I definately did not do something as dumb as heat up left over ziti in the aluminum container with its paper cover in the microwave. No way!!

It then did not burst into flames and burn the microwave because I would never put aluminum and a paper cover in the microwave.

I then did not get extremely irritated at my little sister for saying over and over again "That is mommy's ziti you burnt. That's mommy's leftover ziti from the restaurant" while I was trying to put out flames. So I did not yell at her to shut-up as the fire alarms were going off in the house. I would never get that irritated.

When everything was done and over with and all the windows were open in the house because it stunk I most certainly did not wish I took a picture of the burnt dish so I could post it on my blog for a Not Me post. That would just be weird!!

I've told you once, I'll tell you again...

2009-07-12T23:14:00.006-04:00

Maddie is such a little ham/show-off/full of personality, like I've said plenty times before! Tonight, I was in the kitchen and I heard Maddie saying "bye, bye, bye" I look around the corner and Madison was walking towards the door with her purse, keys, and cell phone. Apparently she believed she was ready to leave the house. It was too cute! I took a picture of her sitting beside her things but I'll have to upload it tomorrow. Here is another thing she did tonight. When you ask Maddie a question she will always shake her head no. My friend was over tonight and we were in my room and I asked Maddie if she wanted to to take a bath. She shook her head no and I showed her to shake her head yes (like I've done before) and she did a circular up and down nodd. And then she started being silly and making us laugh. My friend commented on her being the goofiest child she's seen. And my friend has 3 little sisters so thats a lot coming from her ;). I love it! Maddie definately entertains with her character. Thursday night another one of my friends came over to the house to see Madison because she hadn't seen her in a while. She brought her camera over and started taking pictures, which was a perfect opportunity for Maddie to show off her stuff...

She lifts her shirt up in front of people sometimes. I'm not sure why, it kind of weird. She did it in fromt of her cousins when we went down to Miami last month also.

As for me, I'm still here being a mommy, studying, working. I've gotten my closing shifts back at work. I only work Wednesday nights, Friday nights, Saturday nights and Sunday mornings. I haven't been closing a whole lot but this week and the week coming up I have all closing shifts so thats much needed because I make more money that way. But of course this Wednesday coming up is my friend's birthday and I told her I would be out by 8:30, 9:00 and that I would meet up with them. I looked at my schedule and I have a Wednesday night closing shift for the first time in months. I want to go but I don't know if I will because I have class at 8:30 the next morning so we shall see.

As far as school.t is still going good. I'm trying to get an "in" at a school nearby because I have a few things coming up in my classes that it would help if I could get into a class and do observations of the students. I asked Maddie's speech therapist if she could somehow get me into the Montessori school that is right next to my house since she has therapy with one of the little boys there. She gave my the number and told me a little about the owners. One thing she said is that they are little weird about people coming in. I'll call tomorrow and see what happens. I'm doing a project and I want to do it around the Montessori classroom set up and curriculum and I've heard that that Montessori school is a legitimate one. So we'll see what happens.

Some Good Conversation

2009-07-09T15:48:00.007-04:00

Maddie babbles all the time. She not only babbles she uses her hands and makes facial expressions as she is babbling. She will stand there for 5 minutes having a conversation with you in her babble language. Even her speech therapist commented on how much she babbles and the manner in which she does it. Sometimes she'll just move her toungue around with noise and not her mouth. She does it in a way that she shows her toungue twisting and going back and forth. And sometimes she'll make the "ch" sound like in "Chanukkah". It's too funny and I can tell she expects us to know what she is talkng about. She has learned a new word in the English language. I thought I had heard her say it before but today I know she said it. I heated her up macaroni and cheese and I was about to give it to her and then I pulled it back and said "oh wait it is hot" and waved my hand over it. Then Maddie said "hot" and waved her hand to. She also copies me when I say "peeuw" and wave my hand in front of my face when she has a dirty diaper.

Here are some pictures of her having a conversation with Sammy the other day...

...making friends

...she likes making eye contact
...sit down, relax, tell me about it
...apparently Sammy did something to make her angry!

...now she is yelling at him
...okay Sammy had enough

Maddie did something today I have never seen her do before. My mom went into the garage and Maddie followed her, grabbed a tub of play food and carried it out of the garage. She sat in the living room and played with it. I was laying on the couch and she was standing beside me with a plastic spoon and one of her little plastic blocks that is in the shape of a cylinder that has a dip at the top and bottom of it. She then took the spoon and "bowl" and pretended to feed me. I've never seen her pretend with anything like that! Except hugging and kissing her babydoll thats the first time I have seen her play like that. I know it's a small thing but I love watching her do new things.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-08T00:09:00.003-04:00

Our Fourth of July

2009-07-05T22:38:00.004-04:00

My mom is a nurse at a hospital in Tampa Bay. In the past on the Fourth of July my family goes to the top of the parking garage at the hospital to watch the fireworks. It isn't the closest view but it is close enough. It's kind of cool because the parking garage is high and right of off the bay so we can see the fireworks they fire off at Channelside in Tampa and when you look across the Bay you can see about 4 or 5 firwork shows going off in St. Petersburg at a distance. The scenery is picture worthy so I was trying to get pictures of me and Maddie with a nice background. It didn't work out to well because I had already let her down on the ground so when I picked her back up to take the picture she wasn't having it. My camera hasn't been taking very good pictures lately. The lighting has been weird, and the pictures usually come out blurry and out of focus. My mom says I just need to clean the lense but personally I think I need a new camera. Plus my mom had it on some weird setting so this is how they came out...

Maddie was kind of tired and cranky. I ended up putting her in the carseat about 15 minutes before the firework started. My mom was saying that she was going to be scared but I took her out to watch the fireworks anyway and she wasn't scared. We were far enough that they didn't phase her. She seemed to like looking at the "lights". And when the finale began I pointed to it and she looked and smiled, clapped and said yayy.

Little Miss

2009-07-02T22:51:00.004-04:00

Madison has definately become a Little Miss. Her personality has been shining through. She was being goofy tonight so I took her outside to run off some energy. And run she did! Before we went outside my mom told her to get Sarah's shoes that were in the living room so she could go walking with us. And she went and grabbed the shoes and started looking for Sarah. Low score in receptive communication my butte evaluation ladies. Sarah went and got Maddie's shoes from the room and gave them to her and she brought me her shoes and sat down with a big smile so I could put them on her. I opened the front door and Maddie went down the outside step by herself and ran down the driveway and turned onto the sidewalk. I thought she was going to go out into the street but she turned right onto the sidewalk like she owned the place. Needless, to say she was very happy to be outside. I couldn't help but remember the first time I took her outside for a walk and she could barely keep up with me now I can barely keep up with her!

(Don't mind her wild hair.)

Look at those long strides.

Trying to keep up with Sarah.

Squealing while running down the driveway

Trying to get in the garage. She likes to knock on the garage door.

When we were walking Sarah saw one of her friends from school outside her house with some adults. Sarah walked by and said hi. Maddie then had to say hi too. But she didn't just walk by and say hi. She stopped, faced them, put both hands up, waved with both hands and said "hi, hi, hi, hi" until they FULLY acknowledged she was there and said hi back and then went along on her merry way. It was too funny.

I was sitting on the couch today doing schoolwork and Maddie decides to come up and climb on the couch with me. She then decides that I'm not paying enough attention to her so she makes her way up into my arms and puts her foot right on the paper that I was writing on. Umm, excuse me Little Miss! If someone else was in the house I would of had them taking pictures because she was progressively getting in my way on purpose while laughing because she knew what she was doing!

Welcome July

2009-07-01T00:10:00.010-04:00

I can't believe it is July already!! Not too awful much has been happening here. It has been a while since I've updated and posted pictures of Maddie though. So here are some of me and her I attempted to take today.

...I cut me out because I looked weird but I thought Maddie had a cute/silly face on.

To see a few more pictures like these click here.

It seems like my little Miss has gotten louder. She squeals at the top of her lungs all the time. She'll be walking around the house squealing, she squeals when she plays, she squeals when she wants to get out of her crib. No wonder her little voice is hoarse sometimes! She is still seeing a speech therapist every Tuesday and Wednesday. Since Maddie has had the therapy she has learned how to sign "more". She mainly does it after we ask her if she wants "more". Every once in a while she'll say the word "more" while she is doing the sign and a few times she has done the sign by herself. I was getting worried that she thought the sign "more" meant "drink" because thats when she usually made the sign. But today when her speech therapist was using it for "more" bubbles she started signing "more" for that so apparently she gets it. Maddie turns into such a show-off when the speech therapist is here. She was being goofy and dancing for her. Kind of like this...

My baby isn't a baby anymore she is a toddler. My toddler loves giving and receiving kisses and hugs. I must get about twenty plus kissies a day from her. And of course she makes the MUAH sound nice and loud. One of the things she does with me is going to the other side of the living room and running into my arms and giving me a big hug and kiss. She'll do this about ten times it's a game to her and I love it! She is also starting to imitate her two uncles and makes shooting sounds with toys. GREAT! I tell the boys when Maddie goes around beating up the other kids in daycare it will be their fault. Here she is making shooting sounds at the TV with the wii controller like the boys do...

She was doing the same thing with these big flowers also!...

As for me, school started again this week. I have night classes on Monday and Tuesday nights and a class on Thursday mornings. My Monday night class is a teaching class on Guidance and Positive Discipline. It's a pretty big class, I know the teacher and more than half of the other students because of previous classes. My Tuesday night class is College Math with only about 6 other people and I don't know anyone but I like it because it's small and everyone pretty much talks to everyone else. My Thursday morning class is a teaching class on Curriculum. I also filled out my financial aid for the next three semester and it looks like I'll get more money in pell grants this semester so hopefully I won't have to take out any loans.

I'm also started on a diet. I'm drinking Slim-Fast. I want to lose at the LEAST 10lbs. I want to weigh what I weighed right before I got pregnant. Ten pounds isn't unrealistic right? (Iwouldn't mind losing more.) Hopefully it won't be too hard. I also need to get more motivation to go to the gym. I'm probably going to be pretty busy now. This semester is going to be harder than last semester. Last semester I had Mondays off of school and work but now I'm back to having either work or school to go to everyday. At least I don't have either of them all day long so I can spend a good amount of time with Maddie everyday.
It's late and I am basically babbling so I'm gonna call it a night and go to sleep. Tomorrow (well not really tomorrow more like when I wake up) Maddie's speech therapist is coming, I have an eye doctor appointment and then work.

Honest Scrap

2009-06-28T23:32:00.005-04:00

A few days ago I received a blog award from a fellow single mama Erin at Irascible Crayons.

The Honest Scrap award is given by other bloggers who consider a blog’s content or design to be brilliant. The awardee must then post ten honest things about themselves and pass the award on to other bloggers who fit the bill – in other words, whose blog is brilliant.

So here are 10 honest things about meee...

1. I am a mommy to a beautiful, curly head, loving 1 1/2 year old little girl. No, this isn't the way I thought my life was going to be but I made certain decisions and I have found acceptance. Now I have my daughter and I never knew I could love someone so much.

2. I genuinly like school and structured work. Now at least. I didn't get very good grades in high school. Or in the little bit of college I had before I had Madison. But now that I have a specific career goal and determination I enjoy school and schoolwork.

3. .If you look up the definition of clean freak my name and picture will NOT be beside it in the dictionary. I may not be clean and tidy with my room and what not but I am organized. Trust me it makes sense. My clothes may be everywhere and I may need to vaccuum and dust but I have like things together in my drawers. I have a cabinet in the garage where I keep all my past school things from different classes in their own binders neatly organized, etc.

4. I'm a little OCD when it comes to weird things. For instance, I have these pens that I like to write with. I couldn't find them in the stores so I bought different ones and I didn't realize that they were gel not ball point. I don't mind writing with them I just hyperventilated a little bit at the thought of writing with a different type of pen because my notes for the class were already written in the other type of pen. It's the same thing with notebook paper. It has to be the same kind or I'll panic. Strange I know.

5. I have an obsession with always looking at the calendar. Either the one on the wall in our kitchen or the one on my phone. Please don't ask me why.

6. I hold some major grudges. It's something I need to work on.

7. I don't give much thought to how other people view me especially if they don't truly know me. I don't stress if someone thinks someting untrue about me. I know what the truth is so why should I make it my life mission to convince them. I'm not someone that feels the need to please everyone or someone that needs everyone to like me. If you like me thats great if you don't thats perfectly fine also.

8. I am the last person to judge. Because of my attitude of things that I mention in my last point and the fact that I tend to be a shy person at first and when I'm not comfortable around someone people make good and bad judgements about me without knowing who I am. I hate that so I try my very hardest not to judge anyone else.

9. Having a baby has turned me into an emotional wreck. Okay, I was exaggerating. I'm not an emotional wreck but before I had Madison I didn't cry that much. And I made a point to never cry in front of people. But I've gone soft since I've had Maddie and I cry and get emotional easier now (even in public).

10. I tell everyone I'm never getting married. Obviously that statement stems from my own issues and the experiences of the disasterous relationships that I have had. I also used to tell everyone I was never going to have kids and I have one. So, there you go. I guess I could get married...maybe...

Wow, that was easier than I thought.
Here are the blogs that I would like to pass the award down to...

The Two Twins
The Life of A Mother and A Son
Jude: The Diary of a Baby and a Stroke

Deceit

2009-06-25T23:25:00.003-04:00

In my post about our trip this past weekend I said that there were some other things that happened during our trip that I wanted to write about also. Well here it goes...

Madison's father and his family live in Ft. Lauderdale. (I lived there with my dad for almost a year. When I got pregnant I made the decision to move back in with my mom in Tampa.) I was there from Friday to Tuesday and on Monday I made the decision to text message his sister telling her that me and Maddie were in town if she wanted to come by and see her. (Keep in mind I haven't spoken to any of them since November.) I got a text back within a minute that I had the wrong number. So I text back saying this isn't Eddie's sister? The person took a little longer to respond this time but said no, I don't know a Eddie or Maddie. I thought this was kind of weird. So me, being the person that I am, called the number and blocked my number to see if it was true that her number changed. Nope!! Not true! She answered!! I had the phone on mute and I let her say hello twice and then hung up the phone. I looked at my dad who was in the car with me and said that was her. I have been around her enough and talked to her on the phone enough to know her distinct voice. I don't understand why she would do that. She has always been the one that seemed to show the most interest in Madison. She has seen her more than Eddie or his mother has. And she has called me more than her mother has also. I haven't done anything either. I have never acted like a crazy bitch of an ex girlfriend and baby mama. It's not like I call their house or cell phones all the time demanding money and things. I've never asked them for anything other than to come see my daughter. I have contacted them every single time I have been down there except for once. That was when I had Maddie's first birthday party for my family to celebrate down there in January. I sent them an invitation but they never said anything to me so I didn't bother saying anything when I was down there. I just don't get it. It's like they don't think of my daughter as being a person. Yes, she is just a baby now and she doesn't understand but she is going to grow up. What am I supposed to tell her? Your father, aunt, and grandmother don't love you or care about you. I mean how could she deny my little girl like that? I don't understand people. They say they will be there for you until things get hard or selfishness comes into play. I have seen that soo much in my own family since my daughter was born. Not to down play the much support I have but it's hard when I have negativity coming from quite a few of my family members also. Anyways, back to what I was saying before. The last time I had spoken to Eddie's sister and mother was in November. His mom mentioned Eddie and how he was ashamed because he hasn't been able to send me money or whatever. And I told them I hadn't heard from him since July and I didn't appreciate how he still talked to me like we were friends because we weren't friends (I'm sensing a trend here). That's the only thing I can think of that would upset anyone. That and I didn't let Eddie come see Madison since last April. But his sister still saw her after that. I should probably stop trying to stop analyze it all and just except it. I need to accept the person that is my daughter's father and I need to accept that neither him or anyone in his family is going to accept my little girl. I told my dad when I was down there that I feel like Madison is half adopted because I know nothing about her father's family. Regardless, I need to make sure she feels all the love in the world by the ones that TRULY care for her and will always be there for her. I know from many, many of my own experiences that deciphering what person in your life you can truly trust will always be there for you unconditionally is hard. I want to make it my mission in life to never turn my back or give up on my daughter in any way. No matter how hard things get. Even if I am at the end of my rope and feel like there is no hope. I will never deny or deceive her.

Bis Abuela

2009-06-24T15:11:00.006-04:00

A lot of people can't say that they ever met their great-grandparents and even less can say that they met their great-great grandparents. I got the chance to know two of my great grandmothers and one of my great grandfather, all three of them on my dad's side of the family. My great grandfather died when I was around 4 or 5 so I don't remember him very well. One of my great grandmothers (Abuela Yeya) passed away when I was 15. And my other great grandmother (Bis Abuela) is still alive. She is in her late 80s and very sick with dimentia (or alzheimer's). She was diagnosed a few years after my great-grandfather died. She now lives with my grandmother down in Miami. The past few times I have been down there I've been meaning to get a picture with her and Maddie so that Maddie has picures to remember her great-great grandmother but I kept forgetting. I finally did it this time though. Before I went down there my grandmother was telling me that she had been getting worse. Which is something that I noticed. Usually when I visited she seemed to know who I was. She would ask about my mom and the baby (I think she was referring to one of my brothers). She stopped asking about my mom after a while but she still seemed to know who I was. She doesn't speak any English but I know that since she had been sick she would say some off-the-wall things. This time when I went down there she couldn't walk by herself at all, she didn't seem to know who anyone was, she couldn't eat by herself at all and she didn't seem to remember what happened 5 minutes ago.

I remember a little bit of my great grandmother before she got sick, although I couldn't communicate with her too much because of the language barrier, but she would try. The last memory I have was going to see her at her new apartment that she had with my grandmother's sister.

The picture taking process was one of those funny disasters. We had to prop my great grandmother up with pillows. I tried to sit Maddie next to her but she was not having it. So me . Maddie, my grandmother and great grandmother were all in the picture. We kept having to lift my great grandmothers head up because she kept dropping it and when they told her to smile she would open her mouth real wide, bless her heart. And Madison was just being an uncooperative wiggle worm...

My dad took the pictures and they definately need to be cropped and photoshopped. But all-in-all I'm glad I got the pictures, especially for Maddie.

The Trip

2009-06-23T22:29:00.005-04:00

As you know Maddie and I were down in South Florida visiting our family. We left on Friday and came back earlier this evening. Maddie was pretty good minus temper tantrums and one or two nights that took her FOREVER to go to sleep. Which is understandable because she is still little and doesn't understand why we are somewhere that she doesn't know for really long periods of time. I had my camera with me the whole time but I really didn't take many pictures. My aunt took some good pictures that I'll get her to e-mail to me and I'll post them when I get them. I have quite a few things I want to post about concerning the trip but right now I'll just generalize ;) .....

Friday: Maddie did pretty good during the 55 minute plane trip that I was dreading. I don't know how people fly with toddlers on flights that are more than an hour long! She fell asleep in the last ten minutes of the flight. We got there and spent some time with the family.

Saturday: Saturday night some of my family came to celebrate my 21st birthday and we went out to dinner. Madison through a huge fit at dinner. My dad had made reservations for 7 people when really we were 7 and a highchair. Me, working at a restaurant, knowing the difference of mentioning the highchair or not, had a bad feeling. Needless to say they stuck us in one of those big, long booths that fit 6 people and put the highchair at the end of the booth. We knew that 7 adults weren't going to fit all that comfortly in that booth so we asked for another table and they said it would be another 45-50 minutes. So we decided to ask for a booster seat for Maddie and put a chair where the highchair was. So I sit the baby in the booster seat and she freaks out! Screaming, crying, kicking, making a huge scene and refusing to be put in that booster seat. She was throwing such a fit I had to walk out of the restaurant because I knew she wasn't going to calm down otherwise. She had never sat at a booster seat before and I'm sure if there wasn't so many people around her and maybe if she had gone in the booster seat first and not taken out of the highchair she wouldn't have freaked out so bad. So I had to put her back in the highchair and we squeezed in the booth. But it wasn't that bad and Maddie was decent for the rest of dinner.

Sunday: Father's Day me, my dad and my stepmom went down to Miami to my grandparents house. My grandpa, my aunt and uncles and all of my little cousins (I guess they're not so little anymore) went to the Marlins vs. Yankees baseball game. Yes I am a Marlins fan. I used to go to Marlins games with my grandpa all the time when I was younger. He loves to take his grandkids to games but very rarely (well I don't think it ever happened) does he get to have all of his kids and all of his grandkids together at the game. I hadn't seen two of my cousins for about 2 years (I might get into more about that in another post) so I was glad I got to see them. Here some of them are playing with Maddie for the first time...

Anyways, the Marlins beat the Yankees 6-5 and it was an exciting game. Maddie stayed with my grandma and stepmom while I was at the game and they said she was a sweet little angel the whole time.

Monday: Me and my dad stayed overnight at my grandparents house and spent some time with them on Monday. We also spent some time with my aunt and uncle and my other cousins. Maddie liked playing with them too even though my 5 year old cousin was sick and didn't feel like playing too much despite Maddie's efforts trying to get his attention.

Today: Today the plane ride back Madison didn't behave very well. She was pretty restless and cranky. I'm sure mainly had to do with it being 4 o'clock and she hadn't slept at all since the morning. But we survived and she was happy to see her uncles at the airport when my mom and them picked us up. Here she is on the ride home...

I was going to post the pictures I took on Monday of me, Maddie, my grandmother and my great-grandmother but I'm tired and I wanted to write a little about them. Maybe I'll post them tomorrow if I have time. Sounds like a good Wednesday's Walk Down Memory Lane post about my great-grandmother! We'll see I do have a lot to do and I have to go to work later on tomorrow night. Oh yeah, I didn't lose my job! Woo-hoo!! I called my general manager Sunday morning and told her I didn't get anyone to cover my shift and asked her if I was going to get fired for it. And she said no but it was going to count as a no-call-no-show (whatever). I'm going to get written up for it and you better believe I'm going to tell her how the other manager was saying that I was going to get fired and I might as well quit if I wasn't going to show up becuase that wasn't right of him to say that to me.

This and That

2009-06-17T00:20:00.002-04:00

Today Maddie's speech therapist came and played with her while saying objects and words. She basically just tried to warm up to her and get to know her a little bit. She is going to come every Tuesday and Wednesday in the afternoon. I'd rather her come in the morning but oh well. After the speech therapist left I fed her lunch adn put her down for a nap. When she woke up we went to meet my friend Stephanie at the mall and I found a little black dress for my birthday and bought it. It looks really good on me but I think it might be too dressy. So I might just save it for my birthday dinner down in South Florida. After we went shopping we went to my work to eat because I also had to talk to one of my co-workers. You see I am scheduled to work on Father's Day which is apparently a mandatory work day because it is one of the busiest days in the year (even though I don't remember it being that busy last year). I told my manager that I was going to be out of town on Father's Day a MONTH ago. Since the day was blocked in the computer I couldn't request off so I had to tell him about it. He led me to believe that he was definately going to give it to me off. Well this weekend right before the general manager put the schedule up the manager that I had talked to said that I probably wasn't going to get Father's Day off now. The reason being they fired 5 people in one week and nobody had Father's Day off. I told him again that I was going to be out of town so I couldn't work. When the schedule went up I was working 10:45-4. So I said something to the general manager and she said that I have to get someone to cover for me. Since everyone is already working that means I would have to find someone willing to work straight thru. I wasn't having any luck so I asked my manager if I was going to lose my job if I didn't find anyone and he said yes. That's flippin GREAT!! There was one guy that said he might do it but when I went there tonight he said he couldn't because his car broke down and he had struggling all week to find rides to work and he didn't think he would find a ride on Sunday morning. Personally, I think he could if he really tried and that was just an excuse. So it's a pretty big possibility that I won't have a job next week. I wouldn't mind having a different job it is just finding one that accomodates my schedule so well like my job now does. And this is such a ridiculous reason to lose a job. Why don't I just cancel my trip do you ask? Plane tickets are already purchased, plans are already made and I am not cancelling everything just to work for five hours on Sunday!! I really hope I don't lose my job though.

Anyways Maddie was so hyper at Olive Garden tonight. She was squealing and being a huge goof. I'm not sure what got into her! She was acting crazy!! There was a birthday at one of the tables next to us and when everyone was singing Maddie started to squeal along with them. My co-workers thought that was the funniest thing and Maddie ate up the attention. When we got home I let her burn off some steam outside. I've been letting her run around outside almost everyday and she loves it. It's nice because she gets tired quick and doesn't really complain when I take her inside.

This will probably be the last post before I leave for South Florida because I have a lot to do within the next few days.

Crazy

2009-06-15T23:09:00.004-04:00

I had a mini anxiety attack (or whatever it was) earlier this evening. You know the kind of thing where you feel like the walls are closing in, the voice in your head sounds like it is screaming at you and the next person that looks at you has the potential to set you off on a yelling rampage. Yeah that kind of thing. It hasn't happened to me in a while. Maybe it happened because of the stress of the upcoming week or the fact that a house was a mess and my stepdad has been in one of his jerky (-nice way to put it) moods the past few days. Or maybe it was Maddie being extra clingy and cranky tonight, my 11 year old brother giving me horrendous attitude and the other two not listening to me. Or just maybe it could possibly be the fact that I might be jobless next week when I come back from visiting my family. Whatever it was it didn't last too long. I took 4 Ibuprofen, (I also had a pounding headache), put Maddie to bed, picked up the living room, swept and mopped the kitchen floor and studied for my final. Well now that I got that out of my system here are some pictures of Maddie playing outside...
It was really hot outside today

Sometimes I can't understand how a little girl so cute can be so highstrung. My daughter has a T E M P E R! She especially shows her temper towards my brothers and sister because she knows they will accomodate her, most of the time. No wonder she doesn't use her words, all she has to do is squeal and she gets her way. But she will get mad and stay mad. Like yesterday at the grocery store I let her snack on some teddy grahams while we were walking through the store. I had to take them away to pay for it and of course she screamed. But when I gave it back to her she continued to scream at the cashier. She was still mad about the situation!!! Apparently my one and a half year old holds grudges.

I have a lot more to write about but I'm tires and I have to wake up early so I am going to call it a night.

The Past Few Days

2009-06-11T22:56:00.010-04:00

On Tuesday Maddie's speech therapist came for the first time. She came at 1:30 in the afternoon which is in the middle of Maddie's nap time. I tried to keep her awake but it didn't work out very well and she fell asleep in my lap 5 minutes before the lady came. She was asleep pretty much the whole time so the lady just sat there and made small talk with me. After she left I told my mom she really didn't tell me much of what she was going to do with Madison. And my mom said well she doesn't know what she is going to be doing until she starts working with her! Hmmm...Good point. She said that she will call me and let me know what time she'll be able to come next week and hopefully she'll be able to come earlier.
Here are some pictures that my mom took of Maddie on Tuesday before the speech therapist came...
We found the Toddler Tunes channel on the Bright House Cable music channels and boy does she like to dance to those songs! It's like she knows those songs are for her...

...isn't my daughter beautiful?!...

She only took that 2o minute nap in my lap, when I went to put her down she screamed and wouldn't go back to sleep. Later on we met some of my friends for dinner and on the car ride home she was knocked out for the night. I skipped her nightly bath and put her in her PJs and laid her right in her crib and she slept all night. (Until 11:30 in the morning I might add.) My baby likes her sleep! She always has and mommy is NOT complaining!!

Today I had all 4 of the kids and lots to do. (Since I was lazy on Wednesday.) We all went to Wal-Mart and I got the prescription for her steroid cream for her excema filled. Her old pediatrician wrote it for me but the insurance that I had before didn't cover it but the one I have now does. I'll pick it up tomorrow, it is the only cream that seemed to work really well on her skin. Then we went to get my car washed and after that I took the kids to McDonalds. Then we went to Barnes and Noble. One of things her speech therapist told me was that signing would be a good thing to start doing. She said she knows some parents are skeptical about it but kids really do drop the sign and use their words easily when they need to. So I went to Barnes and Noble and bought her a signing book for meal time that she can look at. And I also bought her a baby faces book because I knew she would like looking at the faces. And I bought some word flash cards that were also touch and feel. One of the card's word is jelly and there is a stucky spot on the card so the kids can associate the word with the object. On the back of the cards are suggested questions to ask the kids to keep them thinking. I thought they were pretty cool and she can use them for a while. Right outside the children's section I spotted the teacher's aids and education books. I spent about 20 minutes looking at them, it could of been longer but the boys were getting annoyed (maybe me and Sarah will go back someday soon because she likes looking at the chi;dren's books). I was looking through the books and I liked some of them but I didn't thnk it would be a great idea to buy any know because maybe they'll be outdated by the time it gets closer to me being in a classroom. (I'm only about to start my 3rd semester.) As I was looking thru them I saw one or two that basically states the same exact things that I have been learning in my classes, from how to set up your classroom to record keeping, portfolios and classroom management. It's almost like someone could read that book and become a teacher!! After Barnes and Noble I took them to the park...
>Maddie was a little apprehensive at first...like usual...

...As you can probably see she was tired also because it was 3 o'clock and she hadn't slept at all since we were in go mode for the day.
Then she started to warm up and explore...

Now everybody watch out Maddie is on a mission...

...look at my climbing child. She is climbing everywhere now and very proud for doinog so.

Needless to say much like Tuesday she took about a 20 minute nap and refused to try to sleep in her crib for some reason (I guess its from being over tired) and passed out later on...

But this time I had to wake her up because she was sweaty and stinky and hadn't eaten dinner yet.
Well that was our past few days. This next week I'll be getting ready for my 21st! I want to go clothes shopping and get my haircut and all that good stuff.

Summer Time

2009-06-08T22:36:00.006-04:00

Today starts the full week of school summertime. So the kids are home all day which makes Maddie happy and content. She is walking more and more these days and she is getting faster. She loves to be outside she will walk on the sidewalk with a huge smile on her face. This morning my mom put pigtails in her hair. I think she looks older with her hair pulled back and that thought made me sad!! She is officially a toddler now and my baby is going to be losing her babyface soon. I think she is starting to look more like me also...

...She loves playing in the boys' room. It's a good thing she has never really been into putting everything in her mouth...

Here she is outside helping outside with the flowers...
...ignore my little brother Jason being himself in the background.
...she's not to sure about walking outside barefoot.

...uh-oh she got dirt on her

...now she wants to share the dirt with mommy

...she is so silly.

It's not exactly summertime for me though. I am still in school, in fact I have a presentation tomorrow and finals next week. But then I only have a week break before the next semester starts because that is how my school's schedule is. At least the week break is the week after my birthday...My 21st birthday that is!! Woo-hoo 10 more days!!! Anyways, Maddie's speech therapist is coming over for the first time tomorrow afternoon. She said over the phone that she'll be coming over twice a week instead of only once a week. I'm excited to see how that all goes.

Sit Still!

2009-06-07T23:21:00.006-04:00

Today was my mom's birthday. I was at work but everyone else was off and they went a few places. My mom dressed up Maddie in a cute little dress and I wanted to take her picture. She is getting so difficult to photograph at home because she wants to look at the pictures on the digital camera. So at first it turned out like this...

(I guess it didn't really help that she was a little on the cranky side tonight.)
I suppose I'll have to resort to the eating in high chair pictures...

Or when she is watching iCarly on Nickelodeon...Yes, my 1 1/2 year old likes to watch iCarly and sits there for the whole half hour and watches it (for those of you who know what that show is) and then she laughs at it like she actually gets the jokes!

Oh wait! That ends up like this also...
And then later on she got a hold of Sarah's play digital camera where you can take pictures and look at the picture through a small little screen for a few minutes. THAT camera she will sit still and smile for because she knows that I will let her hold it and look at it. Little Booger!

Venting

2009-06-05T23:29:00.004-04:00

It's Friday night, I just got off work and I have no plans but a lot on my mind. So what else to do but blog huh? A lot has happened this week but I'm not going to blog about all of it. And what I am going to blog about I'm not going to bore you with details either, plus that would take to long. So I am going to try to be vague and hope that it makes sense at the same time. But FIRST a picture of my little girl with the crazy hair...

This picture cracks me up because it was sent to my phone by my friend Tuesday morning when she babysat for me while I went to class. My friend had to come over early so she laid in my bed and went back to sleep. And she woke up to this face smiling at her. Maddie is so funny! I guess she thought it was funny that someone else was sleeping in my bed when she woke up.

Okay. Wednesday night I was out with my best friend Stephanie. She was in the middle of breaking up with her boyfriend (she got back together with him-which is a whole nother "venting" post that I probably won't ever write because I feel kind of weird putting this story out there so I'm not going to put someone elses story out there). A little bit of background: My ex-boyfriend (who I mention briefly here) and I were friends for almost 3 years before we got together. After we started dating his best friend and my best friend Stephanie started dating. The 4 of us did a lot together but we also had a lot of immature drama going on between us too. Needless to say our "friend circle" broke after me and my ex broke it off. Or so I thought. Here enters the venting part. Back to Wednesday night. Not even 5 minutes after Stephanie and I went to pick up her stuff from her boyfriends house she gets a call from my ex trying to be all nosy. So I got angry and started yelling in the background for him to mind his own damn business. And then he asked what my problem was and I yelled back I don't know maybe its because I no personality (which is what he apparently said about me after we broke up-that and the only good thing about me was my smile and big boobs). Anyways me yelling at him through the phone apparently "really upset him" and caused him to text me and call me the next day. My ex has a complex with needing everyone to like him and he can't handle it when someone doesn't. And I pointed this out to him and of course he denied (even though he admitted it to me when we were together). So against my better judgement I spoke to him Thursday night because he was obviously not leaving me alone and I had a few things I needed to get off my chest anyways. To shorten up our 45 minute conversation he was telling me how he still considered me a really close friend and doesn't understand why I was going off at him because he never did anything to me. I responded with the question of what was his definition of a really close friend because we hadn't spoken in months and usually friends talk to each other. And I also reminded him of the lies that I caught him in and the many levels of rejection that he gave me when we were together. And I was very blunt about how we were NOT friends and I really didn't want anything to do with him and if I knew he was going to react like this I wouldn't have said what I said the night before. Because I am going to be honest after we broke up I took it kind of hard, mainly because I dwell on things, and I am happy with not having to think of our relationship everyday anymore. Obviously talking to him makes me think of it all the time again and that isn't something I want to do. So he proceeded to call me cold-hearted and I cold-heartedly said oh well. He also brought up something that he just found out that I did after we broke up. And I told him that I really don't feel bad for what I did and he shouldn't be mad at me becuase it was after we broke up and I had nothing to do with him anymore. And again he said I was being cold-hearted and again I said oh well I'm okay with that. He said it was a defense mechanism for me and I shouldn't be like that. And maybe he's right but right now it's working out for me. Now don't get me wrong!!! I'm not a cold-hearted bitch with everyone! Just when I want and have to be. He kind of threw me off guard with the I consider you a close friend thing and I guess I threw up my defense mechanism because I didn't want to get my feelings hurt again. I told him this is the first time in my life where I can just break up with someone and not have to look back. I don't have anything tying me to him. So why go backwards? Why be friends with someone that I think about and more negative feelings come to mind than positive ones and I can't seem to look past that? But was I wrong to be so "cold-hearted"? I mean he admitted he should of done a lot of things differently. Of course I can't go back to him and say I want to be friends now, it's a little late for that. But I don't know was I in the wrong for acting the way I did?

Evaluation and Therapy for Maddie

2009-06-04T12:24:00.002-04:00

Maddie is taking an early nap today which is unusual for her but she has had a busy morning. We woke up early to go to her evaluation appointment to see if she qualifies for physical therapy. The evaluation was set up before she started walking but I figured it couldn't hurt to go anyways even though she is walking now. Well, she does need therapy, but not physical therapy. She apparently needs speech therapy. At the evaluation there was my case worker, an occupational therapist and a speech therapist. It lasted a little over an hour and they had certain toys for Maddie to play with and they asked me a bunch of questions. She did the right things with the toys, she put the shapes in the right places, took toys in and out of the cups and but small objects inside a small hole. At the end they added up her scores and she was in the "average" range for everything but in the "low average" range for a lot of things. But from what I understand they were saying that that could all be tied into her late physical development. Her adaptive/self help skills were pretty low. Things like feeding herself with a spoon she tries to do it but she hasn't really gotten the hang of that yet. Her communication score was an 87 and the average range for her age is 85-115. The speech therapist was explaining to me how there are two parts to communcation that they look at, spoken communication and understanding. She said her vocabulary is mostly social words like bye-bye and uh-oh, not really words that relate to objects like cup and ball that she should be saying. And that she should know at least 5 body parts, she only knows nose and mouth. She said she seems to understand cues more than relating to objects. She should be verbalizing that she is hungry and thirsty in some way but she doesn't. The things she does do though are when someone tells her to get her baby doll she will go get it and she does the same for her pacifier. I wasn't expecting them to tell me she was behind in speech. I thought she was fine. I still think she is okay but I guess she just needs a little bit of help. It's kind of strange hearing from therapists that your kid is developing at a little slower pace than the average. They were like she seems like a very happy, social little girl. And she is a happy, smart little girl!! Yesterday I took her to the pediatrician and after everything they did to her like measure her and looking into her ears she would look up and say "all done". It was so funny. Now if that isn't a sign of a smart 1 1/2 year old I don't know what is!
Well no pictures for this post. And I have more to write about. Quite a few things have happened this week but I don't really have time. I have a lot of schoolwork I have to do.

The Incredible Shrinking Bear

2009-06-03T14:10:00.001-04:00

This week Wednesday's Walk I'm posting the pictures that my mom took of Maddie every month until she was 12 months old. If you want to know how to paricipate in Wendesday's Walk down memory lane click on the button above.
First off, my brother Jason made that bear at Build A Bear that he named "Pinky" for Maddie the day that she was born. My mom took a picture of her next to the bear every month. She missed 9 and 11 months though. She also just finished a scrapbook page and when you put the pictures back to back like they are on the scrapbook page it really does look like the bear is shrinking! My mom had originally bought a big Minnie Mouse to take the pictures with her but she thought the bear would have more of a meaning behind it.
It still seems like yesterday my baby girl was that little red-nosed peanut that I had just brought home from the hospital in her pink gown and bonnet. At birth she was 6.6lbs and 19 1/2inches long. At 12 months she was 21lbs. and 31inches long.

Fun Outside

2009-05-31T23:33:00.007-04:00

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Sick

2009-05-30T12:48:00.005-04:00

Ugghh I am sick. It seems like someone in my house is always sick. I probably caught it from being home with my sick little brother all week. Maddie is on antibiotics for her ear infection but now her nose is running like crazy. Great. I just got a letter from the insurance plan that she needs to be on in the mail though. So now she is on the right plan. Amazing! I just have to call them on Monday to change her doctor and this Medicaid nightmare will finally be over. We haven't done too much since we got back this weekend. Some new Maddie things: She tries to reach door knobs soon she'll be opening doors!! Another Great. She likes to give me big, wet kissies on my mouth and makes the muah sound. Yesterday she was walking around in circles with something in her hand and I was saying bye to her and she would say bye back. And then I said "bye, see you later." And she repeated back "bye, later." It was too cute. Ummm, I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch of other things that I wrote in my post for over a hour Thursday night and then somehow I pressed something everything got deleted and I couldn't get it back. Yeah I wasn't too happy! But my head is a little foggy right now, you know from being sick.
But here are some pictures I took last week...

I know I seem to have a fetish with taking pictures of Madison eating like here but she has the funniest expressions and she is just so cute.

Anyways I got my midterm grade back from my math class Thursday night. Would you like to guess what I got? A 108%. Yep, me in Math (well College Prep Math). I also got my schedule for next semester. I have two ECE classes and a regular College Math class. I'm wondering if this next semester will be harder since I have two ECE classes.

Last night was a crazy night at work because of high school graduations and I didn't get home until a little after 12. I have to work tonight also and I'm kind of hoping they'll send me home. You would think they wouldn't want a sick server working tables but I have served before with hardly a voice so I never know. I don't feel good so I'll leave you with a few pictures that were in my camera when I got home..

Notice her Madison cup in the pictures that I bought her before we left for Disney.
And this note and picture I found when I got home...

Disney Trip

2009-05-26T20:26:00.008-04:00

Friday- Friday we woke up early and drove to Magic Kingdom. It rained all day, well it rained everyday we were there, but this day it started raining early and didn't stop. It wasn't just raining it was pouring. So needless to say we couldn't do much. Maddie didn't get to go on any rides like Dumbo, Winnie the Pooh or It's A Small World! Which was kind of sad but oh well, next time. We ate lunch at a really yummy buffet restaurant that we go to every Disney trip. This restaurant has the Winnie the Pooh characters come around to the tables while you eat. Here are the results of that. Maddie didn't appreciate it too much...

Jason and Sarah consoling Maddie

Can you find the baby?

On the look out

After lunch we went back to the hotel very wet. Me, Maddie and Jason had our own hotel and the two of them had no problem settling down for the night.

Saturday- Saturday James and Josh woke up early to go to Star Wars weekend in Hollywood Studios. The rest of us slept in a little bit and went to the pool. The Disney Resort we stayed at had 7 pools and 1 big one. The big pool had a kiddie area with a slide and then the regular pool area had 2 slides. Maddie didn't like the pool very much then, but when we went back later on she was all about it and excited. Oh the mind of a one year old. My mom, Jason and Sarah left to meet James and Josh and me and Maddie stayed at the resort. It was already close to one o'clock and I knew she would be better off with a nap. I thought we were going to the park to see the Fantasma show but it was cancelled because of the weather so we stayed at the resort all day on Saturday.

Sunday- Sunday we went to Epcot. We planned on going to Hollywood Studio but the lines just to get in were absolutely ridiculous. Epcot has a lot of inside interactive areas that Maddie liked to run around in. Oh yeah did I mention that she started walking!!!!! We were in the hotel room and she started taking a few steps from bed to bed and then next thing I know she is walking around the room!! I guess Disney World inspired her. I love watching her toddle around it is so cute.

Epcot also has A Living Seas Area. To get in you ride this cute Nemo ride and then inside the building is a big aquarium, activities and a play area.

She loved watching the fish swim around and she threw a fit when we left.

Here she is being silly in the play area. Did I mention I loved watching her walk around?

Monday- Monday we went back to Hollywood Studios and it was a lot less crowded since Star Wars weekend was over. Hollywood Studios has a Playhouse Disney show for the little kids. Me, my mom, Maddie and Sarah watched it. Maddie loved it! I'm sure she recognized the characters because she watches the shows in the mornings. She was contently watching and dancing and clapping it was too cute.

And after the show...

Right before we left we went to the American Idol Experience. It's where they reinact American Idol. She was clapping and dancing around for that also.

That was our Disney trip in the nutshell. Minus crying, storms, flooding and heat, crowds, a sick kid, messes, and many dirty diapers that leak from a certain baby that has been on antibiotics. But all in all it was a good trip and Maddie seemed to have fun.

My Babyshower

2009-05-20T13:52:00.010-04:00

This is my second Wednesday's Walk and if you want to know how to participate click on the button above and you'll be redirected to Lynette Kraft's blog.

So this week I am remembering my baby shower. I had it in October of 2007 down in Miami at my grandma's house. My grandma and stepmom put everything together down there. My mom and cousin up here made invitations with their scrapbooking stuff and they also made me a diapercake. A lot of people showed. A lot of cousins that I hadn't seen in a while, my aunts and uncles and some friends. Eddie and his sister showed which made my nerves go crazy because I hadn't seen him in a few months and we weren't on the best terms with each other. Me, my mom, my cousin and one of my best friends drove down to Miami the day of my baby shower. It was a tight ride with only the 4 of us in the Explorer because we were bringing so much stuff. My mom went a little baby shopping crazy. But I'm not complaining! She bought a whole bunch of tiny newborn and 0-3 months clothes and everybody was telling her to not by so much because the baby wouldn't wear any of it but once. Which wasn't true because Madison was only 6lbs so she didn't grow out of them for quite a few months.

Here are some pictures...there are pictures of my baby shower scattered everywhere throughout my family and I don't have any of my cake or my presents but they are out there somewhere.

...me and my little sister Sarah

...me and my Abuela

...me and my mom

...me and my dad and stepmom
...me and my stepsister

...Christa, me, Daniela, Guadalupe and Marisela

...me and my cousin

...Abuelo, Tio, Tia, Abuela, me and my Dad
...me and Christa
...me and Eddie's sister (we both look a little uncomfortable if you ask me.)
...me and Daniela

...this is a pretty typical face for me haha! The only picture I could find of opening my presents. As you can see I am shoeless. I took off my shoes as soon as I walked in the door.

..my Abuela signing my guest page. If you look at the book you can see the picture of me my mom and cousin took.
That was my baby shower!

Maddie Play

2009-05-19T23:29:00.005-04:00

...Maddie playing with her babydoll.

...Who you starin at?!

...With one of her favorite toys. She loves that piggy.

I love watching Maddie talk to herself and play with her toys. I wish I could capture every moment even though she isn't all that cooperative when I want to take a picture of her and my camera isn't all that great.

I took Maddie to the pediatrician today. She has an ear in fection in both ears so she is on antibiotics now. This is actually her third ear infection. I went to her old pediatrician without insurance yet again. Well she has insurance just not the right one because Medicaid screwed up. She has an appointment with her new pediatrician on June 3rd and hopefully everything will be straightened out by then. Her old pediatrician was nice enough to "cancel" her appointment so I didn't have to pay. It was really good of her to do that. She was like I can't take your money again. Considering that this was my third time taking her to the pediatrician without insurance. She also knows our family pretty well. I was actually sad when I found out I couldn't go to her anymore because her practice doesn't except the insurance that Maddie qualifies for. Afterwards me and my mom went to lunch and then Babies R'Us. I went to go drop off the prescription at Publix and I don't know why I didn't just wait there the 20 minutes they told me it was going to take because I had to take Maddie back out into the rain and traffic to go pick it up later on. Not the best choice.

Thursday is my brother Josh's 11th birthday. Early Friday we leave for Disney and get back Monday. In two weeks is Madison's physical therapy evaluation. And in 4 weeks is my 21st birthday!!!! Then the day after my birthday me and Maddie will be leaving for South Florida to visit family. I'm looking forward to going just not necessarily to the plane ride. 55 minutes feels like 5 hours when you have a wiggly 18 month old on your lap. And she hasn't always been on her best behavior when we are down there. But she has been getting a little better with every trip so hopefully she'll be okay this time.

Should I or Shouldn't I?

2009-05-17T23:01:00.004-04:00

Ever since Maddie was born I have dealt with people asking about her father. Strangers and people I work with, go to school with, haven't seen in a while, etc. have asked the question. Lately my answer has been I haven't heard from him in almost a year. Which I haven't. July will be a year since I have talked to him and he has only seen Madison twice, the last time being last April. The second question people ask me (it's amazing how some people can be so nosy) is if I get child support and my answer is no. And then it's followed by WHY NOT?! Everybody that I have talked to says that I should and most of my family says that I should also. I have heard that I can't just let him off the hook like that. That it is money for Maddie that she needs. My response is always I don't need any help financially especially not from him. Or I just want the thought of him to disappear and I want no connection whatsoever. But what I understand is I don't have to deal with him through child support. The state acts as a middle person and I get the money no matter what and if he doesn't pay he gets thrown in jail. I have actually attempted to start this process a few times but I've never followed through. But tonight I went to the DCF Child Support Enforcement home page, filled out the application, printed it out and I am going to mail it tomorrow. I was able to fill out everything about him except for where he works. God knows if he even has a job right now. I have his address and SSN because I threatened him with doing this last year. And he was very nonchalant about it and that bothered me. And then I remember that Eddie is nonchalant about anything and everything and just doesn't care about a whole lot. My mom is scared that one day he is just going to pop in and say he wants to be a part of Madison's life or if something ever happened to me that he would come and take her away. Which are two scary thoughts and part of the reason why I haven't gone through the child support process. My thinking is maybe if he has to start paying child support then he'll think he's entitled to seeing her. If not now, later on. I don't know. I guess we'll see what happens with this. I don't know why I stress and am so nervous about it! Even though I would love to see the faces on him and his family when they get a letter or a phone call about this out of the blue. Ooops.. I guess thats the evil side coming out of me again.

Pictures with Mommy??

2009-05-16T14:04:00.009-04:00

Maddie isn't acting awfully sick but I can tell she doesnt feel all that great. And she has a yucky, wet cough. Here are some pictures I was taking yesterday...

...as you can see by her puffy little eyes.

I was trying to get a picture with me and her but it wasn't working out too well...

..this is her squealing at me

...thats not a smile, it's a whine

And yes I am aware that my child has wild hair. But I never take her out like that!! I always put a clip in her hair before we leave the house.

I guess she just doesn't like taking pictures with her mommy. Kind of like this time when she was a few months old...

Not the best pictures of either us.

After that she was playing on the floor. And I told her to come to the kitchen because her yum yums were ready and she came crawling really fast into the kitchen. I love how she comprehends and responds to what we say. Like when I tell her to get a certain toy and she goes to her cabinet in the entertainment center and gets the toy.
Here are some pictures I took of her after her nap...

...huh?! whats that?

She loves to "play" on the piano when the kids are practicing piano.

I've also noticed that she likes being manipulative, just to be manipulative. She'll be in my lap and I'll go to put her on the floor and she doesn't want to. Then about 10 seconds later she'll whine to go on the floor. She wants to do things on her terms. Not like her mommy or anything.
For me, I took all my midterms this week. I got an A on my ECE midterm and I have an A in the class. I think I did good on my math midterm. I'll find out Thursday and I have an A in that class also. I also took my final for my Friday morning class. This week is probably going to be busy. I have to get things ready for our stay in Disney and buy some shorts. I don't think I have worn shorts since before I had Madison due to my fat, white legs.I have to get ready for work now but I'll leave you with a picture of Maddie I took this morning. She was making some funny Madison faces but then of course stopped when I grabbed my camera. But it's still a cute picture...

It's Raining, It's Pouring

2009-05-13T19:01:00.004-04:00

...No Maddie you can't go outside when it's raining!

Today, like the past few days, it has been good weather in the morning and early afternoon and then later on it is raining and yuck. I called out of work today because of the little stunt Madison pulled this morning. She slept for 4 hours and woke up okay. I can tell she still doesn't feel good though. She has a nasty cough. Hopefully the rain and Madison's sickness (along with everybody else in this house) will lighten up by next weekend when we go to Disney World.

The Days I Found Out

2009-05-13T15:19:00.007-04:00

So when I first started my blog and I read other people’s blogs I had it in the back of my head that I wasn’t going to get involved in those “blog carnivals” that some people had. Well… I caved. I wanted to start Lynette Kraft’s Wednesday’s Walk Down Memory Lane. (Yes, I always secretly thought it would be fun). If you want to participate visit http://lynettekraft,blogspot.com I decided that I would this week because May 15 and May 16 are coming up. These two dates are very significant to me. So brace yourselves this is probably going to be really long. Two years ago on Tuesday, May 15 was the day I took a pregnancy test and it came up positive. Two years ago on Wednesday, May 16 was the day that it was “definitely confirmed” that I was pregnant and the day I first saw my little tadpole. I remember that week of my life very well. I remember a few days before the 15th and I remember a few days after the 16th but those days were more of a run together blur. A few days before I found out I remember sitting in the Olive Garden I worked at at the time and I was telling one of the hostesses that I was feeling nauseous lately for some reason. She looked at me and said maybe you are pregnant. And I of course responded NO I’M NOT! The Sunday before the 15th was Mother’s Day. Then on Tuesday I was out with my stepsister and her cousin. We stopped by Walgreens and I decided to pick up a pregnancy test since I hadn’t had my period. I still remember exactly which Walgreens we were at and I remember taking it up to the counter like it was yesterday. I was so casual about. I didn’t give the fact that I was going to take a pregnancy and it could possibly come up positive a second thought. It was no big deal to me. I had taken them before and it always came up negative so why should this be any different?! I was just going to pee on a stick, look at the negative result. Throw the thing away and that would be that. Right? Wrong! Later that night me and my stepsister Marisela got home. We were staying in my dad’s apartment by ourselves at the time. I went to the bathroom and peed on the stick. Waited a few seconds. One line…and then something I had never seen before. There was a faded second line. I called Marisela into the bathroom and told her to LOOK at the thing and tell me what she saw. She told me to take the second test so I did. The same thing showed, there was a clear line and a faded line. We must have been a sight to see. I was in the apartment pacing back and forth and Marisela was sitting on the floor reading the pregnancy test instructions. Then she goes umm, Monica, uh-oh it says here that in a positive result the second line can be faded. “Sooo… what does that mean? I’m f****n pregnant? That’s just great!” I believe that was my exact response. And then on cue Eddie (baby daddy) called me from work. So I started freaking out at that point and he was telling me to calm down and go buy another pregnancy test to make sure. So Marisela and I went to the Wal-Mart up the street and I bought another box of pregnancy tests. This one had 3 in it. But needless to say all 5 of them gave me the same positive result. My stepsister just kept saying to me it’s not for sure until the doctor tells you. But I was pretty positive that I was pregnant. But it still hadn’t hit me. I also remember that night Marisela wanting these two guys to come over. And after the whole ordeal was over she asked if they could still come. I just looked at her and said are you kidding me? No! So I went to sleep and the next morning we woke up and I called my obgyn to make an appointment. I made the appointment for the next week. Then we both went off to work. At least I attempted to. I lost it that morning. I went into work crying and I went straight to the manager and said I thought I could come into work today but I just couldn’t do it because last night I found out that I was pregnant. He said okay, asked me if I was going to be alright to come in the next time I worked and I said yes and he let me go. I remember not knowing what to do. I was such a mess. Eddie of course didn’t have a cell phone at the time. So I went to his work which was down the street and he wasn’t there. Then I went to Marisela’s which was right down the street also. She saw me and saw that I had been crying. She told me to call the doctor and ask if I could get in that day. So I did. I remember them asking me if there was anything wrong and I said no that I just wanted to go in today. Somehow I tracked down Eddie and the 3 of us went to my doctor’s office. We got there and I had to fill out some papers. The whole time Marisela was looking over my shoulder going why are you answering these questions Monica we don’t know if you are pregnant or not. You shouldn’t be answering these questions this is stupid. Yeah she was in complete denial. I finished the paperwork and we went to this small little area where the nurse started asking me questions like when was my last period, what was my family history. Marisela interrupted her and said that I didn’t need to be answering these questions because I was only there to confirm that I was pregnant. Well it was more of a yelling at her than a calm interrupt. The nurse just looked at her and I could tell she wasn’t sure how to respond to that. So I told Marisela to relax. After that I peed in a cup and about 30 seconds after the nurse said yes, that it was “comfirmed” that I was indeed pregnant. Me being the person that I am started laughing. (Yes I get into a hysterical laughing fit when I get nervous and I don’t know what to do.) Eddie tried to hug me but I just told him to not touch me. The doctor came in and talked to me a little bit and said he wanted to do an ultrasound to take a look at the baby and measure it. So two more nurses came in and they did it internally. And I got my first glimpse at my baby girl with her strong heartbeat. I didn’t really say anything because I was still in shock and not sure how to process everything. Marisela was there also and Eddie made this gasping noise when he saw the picture of the baby. One of the nurses laughed and said to him aww are you okay you look like you are about to pass out. The doctor printed out to ultrasound pictures for us, did a pap smear (sp?), made another appointment and the three of us left. (Side Note: Eddie and I went to the appointment a month later and the same nurse that was asking the questions recognized us and said to me, before I recognized her, your friend isn’t here with you this time. I laughed and said no. Then the nurse that took my bloodwork was the same nurse that told Eddie he looked like he was about to faint and she remembered us and started laughing and said something to him again. I thought it was pretty funny that they remembered us because it is a really busy office. I guess we were a sight to see, a scared young mother with two of her young friends with her.) The three of us didn’t say much of anything to each other on the ride back. They were both on their breaks from work so I dropped them both off and drove home. And can you guess what happened to me as I was turning into my housing complex? I got into a car accident! Yep!! LOVELY day I had! The accident was my fault and needless to say the lady in the Jag that I hit wasn’t too happy with me. And I instantly started to cry… no bawl my eyes out would be a better description. I didn’t know what to do! So I called Marisela at work and of course she had to ask me a few times because she couldn’t understand what I was saying. She couldn’t leave work so she called my stepmom and she came. Which I didn’t really want her to do that because I was supposed to be at work and no one knew anything yet. So it was a perfect ending to a wonderful day. That night I called my mom and told her and I slowly began telling the rest of my family. That experience was hard and a lot more happened after that. My pregnancy wasn't easy and I was in labor from Christmas Eve morning until the morning after Christmas. But now I have a beautiful little girl that I love more than anything.

Wow! that was really long...I know if I do anymore Walk Down Memory Lanes they won't be this long. I just wanted to get it out there especially since it's about to be 2 year to the day since this all happened.

Here are a few preggo pictures...

I tried to find the one where I just had a little baby bump but I couldn't find it...

...I was huge, swollen and miserable here. This was only a few days before she was born.

Now a Maddie update. My poor baby doesn't feel good. She slept until almost noon this morning. When I got her up I gave her lunch and some juice to drink. She drank 3 cups of juice, which isn't really unusual for her because she likes her drink. I took her out of her highchair and sat down with her and she was really agitated. Sometimes she does this grunting thing wher she takes a breath and it's like she holds it and then grunts it out. She does this occasionally and I guess I don't really give it much thought. Well, she was sitting with me doing this for a few minutes. And she has never done it like that before so I was thinking maybe she was constipated becuase she has been a little constipated the past few days but I wasn't totally convinced. Then she puked up all of the juice she drank and it got all over me and her. So I got up to change her and she started acting weird and tensing up and then I noticed she was turning blue. Madison has never done anything like that before so I don't know. I called my mom and she said to just watch her and make sure she doesn't do it again because there really isn't much the pediatrician can do. She's been sleeping all day so hopefully she'll feel better and she doesn't do anything like that again!

Pasta Baby

2009-05-11T23:15:00.007-04:00

I have officially declared Madison as a picky eater. She hardly ever will even touch a sandwich if you set it in front of her for lunch. She'll eat meats and veggies when we have it for dinner most of the time. And she likes bananas, mixed fruits and teddy grahams for snack. But one thing she never shuns away is pasta. Maddie loves her pasta.
See she holds it close to her heart...

So I started taking a few pictures of her chowing down...

And here is possibly one of the funniest pictures that I have ever taken of her...

Yes my child is the craziest one year old you will ever meet.

She makes this face on cue. She does it both to be funny and when she gets irritated. And the crazy thing is I did the same exact thing when I was a baby. I didn't know "these kind of traits" could be inherited.

Busy, Busy and Mother's Day

2009-05-10T23:09:00.006-04:00

Today was my second Mother's Day and it was pretty uneventful. I didn't even get a picture taken with Maddie today so I posted one from last year. She was 4 1/2 months old. It was windy out and she is sticking her tongue out to feel the wind lol. It was pretty hectic at work today but not as awful as I thought it would be. Maybe because I knew what to expect and last year I didn't. It also helped that I worked in the morning and I didn't walk into the chaos at 5 o'clock like last year. After work I got home and played with Maddie a little bit and then put her to bed. I didn't see my mom because she had left for work by the time I got home.
This week has been pretty busy. My last few days in a nutshell: Wednesday me and Maddie were out all morning running errands and then I had to go to work at 4. Thursday I went to get my bi-weekly (or so) pedicure (which the lady totally screwed up my design). After that I met my friend for lunch and I listened to how awful her boyfriend was and all of the drama. Then I got home and I attempted to finish my take home math test for class later that night. But my mom asked me to take her to the hospital so she could get an epidural for her back because luck would have it and the doctor was there and would do it for her that night. So me and Maddie drove her and she was there for about 4 hours. To kill time I went to drop off my test to my teacher and asked her what kind of review she was doing for the midterm next week. She looked at me and said "Oh the midterm is next week?" Yeah its next week (great teacher awareness there). After the hospital we went to a late dinner and made a pitstop at Wal-Mart. We didn't get home until about 11. Which I NEVER have Maddie out that late so she was in kind of a daze. Friday I was on the phone in the morning with Medicaid trying to get the new pediatrician assigned to Madison's medicaid plan so she can go to the doctor. Well, to make a long frustrating story short the lady that I talked to 2 weeks ago didn't put me on the right plan that I asked for. And with my luck the general Medicaid system couldn't pull up my pediatrician so they can be assigned to Madison. So I have to wait another month to get it all straightened out. I wan not too happy at the thought that this could have all been avoided if the lady that I spoke to 2 weeks ago hadn't screwed up in the first place. So now I have to wait even more to take Maddie to the doctor. I went to work that night and after work I met up with my friend for dinner and heard all about the drama of how she broke up with her boyfriend (I'm getting to a point with that). I also found out that my ex (not Madison's father) has a girlfriend now. Which I'm not sure why I gave that a second thought. It's not because I am jealous. I am very clear about being perfectly happy not having a boyfriend. I don't have the time or the energy for one. It's not because I'm lonely. Because I'm not. I have a guy friend that I hang out with every once in a while when we are both free and we just keep each other company. And then there is this guy I met from school. He was kind of bugging me the past couple of weeks about hanging out with him and I kept turning him down and I haven't heard from him in the past couple days. Which is fine by me because he was texting me everyday and it was getting annoying. It's not because I miss him. We were friends for almost 3 years before we started dating but while we were dating it was just one big mistake. I could make a HUGE list of things that were wrong with our relationship but I'm not going to. I think it is because last time I heard he was lonely and miserable and I guess I wanted him to stay that way for a good while. Yes I am a little evil that way! muahaha!! Anyways.. Saturday before work Sarah and I ran a few errands. My stepdad has been really really sick and he wanted me to get a few things from the store for him so I went grocery shopping also while Maddie was napping. I was also stressing out about getting my friend to come pick up Madison for a little bit while I went to work because James was too sick to watch her. And my brother Jason (who helps out with Maddie too) was really sick too. But my mom came home early from work so it all worked out. By now I was also starting to stress that I hadn't done any schoolwork for the week. So I did some tonight and I'll do alot more tomorrow. I have also been yelling at my friend tonight who had been complaining about her boyfriend. She called me saying that she was meeting him in a few hours. I told her how absolutely ridiculous she is and she doesn't need to go running to a boy just because she is lonely. I said more because there is definately more to it. I think she was tired of me lecturing her because she pretty much hang up on me. I felt kind of bad because its not really like me to lecture my friends. There life is there life. But really now. She is my best friend and she has only been with this guy for 6 months and she has been off again on again with him too much. I just know what it is like not being able to let go and getting to deep into something and when you realize you need to get out it's too late. It's not worth it and I have unfortunately been in that situation more than once.

Anyway on the Maddie front.. her little legs are still pretty tore up. I'm not sure what to do about them anymore. She is still a happy little goofball though. I think I'm going to take a picture of them and post it up here. Also her evaluaion is scheduled for June 4th.

Here is a picture of Sarah the other night. This is how she fell asleep...

That's a balloon under her nightie. My stepdad said to me "Monica come her your sister is pregnant." Oh the silly things 7 year old little girls do! I can't wait to see the things Maddie does. I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories for the future.

Finally

2009-05-05T16:16:00.006-04:00

The lady from the USF Early Intervention program came to the house today. She just told me about the program and I signed a few papers. She said this was the first step in the process. And that the next step was an evaluation of her communication and her fine and gross motor skills. Which will hopefully happen within the next 3 weeks. And if she quallifies for the program (which she probably will, but I guess we will see) that she will find a physical therapist for her. Hopefully one that will be able to come to our house but she explained that there isn't a whole lot of physical therapists around and a lot of them are pretty booked. So we might have to go to a clinic instead of them coming to us. She also filled out a little questionare that she was asking me and the results were that her communication, fine motor skills and cognitive development were fine but her gross motor skills for her age scored a zero. She asked if Madison stood by herself and I said no not really, she'll stand for a second and then fall. And then I stood her up and what did she do? She stood there and took a step! But we were also talking about how weak she seems to be and maybe it's low muscle tone. Of course the evaluation and therapist will be the judge of that though. So she is going to call me with a few dates so that I can schedule the evaluation.

Anyway, yesterday I was working on my research paper and classroom diagram that was due this morning. Madison was kind of on the cranky side and driving me crazy while I was trying to do my work. So I decided to take her outside in hopes that she would be content when I brought her back in. My plan didn't work too well but here are some pics...

I also learned at school today that they might be putting a bachelor's program in the school for teachers. I hope they do by the time I am done with my associate's so I don't have to change schools!

At the Beach...with lots of pictures!

2009-05-03T21:33:00.007-04:00

Saturday was Maddie's first trip to the beach! She didn't like it at first and if you notice in the pictures she has her hands out and her fingers spread apart the whole time...

...very serious

...little princess getting an umbrella held over her for shade

...much happier that she is out of the water

...when I showed her the toys that I brought her she started playing and loosening up. I took her into the water again and in a few minutes she was happy and splashing around. When we went back up to the blanket she started being a goof and putting the basket on top of her head. She is so silly!

...having a very deep conversation with Christa.

It was a fun day and perfect beach weather. The waves were nice and not choppy. We were there for only about 2 1/2 hours. Afterwards we stopped at Subway for lunch and Madison was very well behaved. She is at the age where you can just pack her up and go places and she'll enjoy it. We went to the zoo and the beach and in a few weeks we'll be staying in Disney World for 4 days!

Walking?!

2009-04-29T23:05:00.005-04:00

Monday night Maddie took a few steps! I was sitting down and had my arms underneath her arms and walking her along and I let go and she just kept on going and she took 3 more steps all by herself! I squealed and said Maddie just walked and everyone came running. And as soon as the little ham realized that she was the center show she was to excited to take enymore steps. She just kept falling down while laughing and saying yayy. She thinks she is so funny!... and she is! She took a few more steps after that but she hasn't again. She is 16 months now and still not walking. But it's kind of in character for her though. When she was 12 months we were all excited that she started crawling on all fours instead of doing the army crawl thing that she did all the time to get around. I don't know maybe thats just the way that she is? Remember how the Early Intervention lady was supposed to come to our house on Monday. She cancelled on me 20 minutes before she was supposed to show up. So I wasn't too happy but oh well. She said she was going to be in her office today and that she would give me a call to reschedule but she didn't.

Anyway.. Maddie was talking to herself in front of the mirror again yesterday so I snapped a few pictures of her...

..my camera isn't the best quality.. but it does the trick.

Saturday I might be taking her on her first trip to the beach with my friend Christa and her younger sisters. I don't know what to expect with that! It should be fun.

On the school front I have a research paper and a diagram of a classroom based on sociocultural learning theory due on Tuesday. I also need to work on my career development portfolio that is due 2 Fridays from now. And next week is midterm studying time. So fun fun coming up!

Funny Things

2009-04-26T22:02:00.008-04:00

Maddie was full of funny things tonight. First I was sitting on the couch and she was playing on the floor and I look over at her and she had pushed herself off of the floor and was standing! And then of course she fell back down and laughed because she thinks it is funny to do that. And we started laughing at her and giving her attention so she kept doing it. I've never seen her push up from the floor to a standing position before. She would put her butte up in the air put never go all the way up. NOW ALL SHE NEEDS TO DO IS TAKE SOME STEPS. I snapped a picture real quick with my camera. She is kind of in a mid-standing-mid-falling position...

After her dinner I put her to play on the floor. And then I realized that she stunk really, really bad. So I changed her diaper and her clothes had some poopie on them. It was 7 o'clock and I knew I was going to give her a bath so I just left her in her diaper which I very rarely do. She was being funny again and she looked so cute in only her diaper. So I snapped some pictures of my clothesless baby...

..look at this liitle ham! She has her head to the side and everything!!

And then she started playing with toybox in our room. She took out her little telephone. And the next time I looked at her she was in the corner looking at herself in the mirror and "talking" on her little play phone. I was soooo cute. I took out the video camera and recorded her. I wish I knew how to/had the patience to upload videos and post them. And then when my stepdad came home she saw him and sat in the kitchen just talking to him and pointing her finger and swinging her arms around for a good 5 minutes. It is so funny how animated she is. I was cracking up! She was really trying to hold a conversation.

Something kind of funny happened to me at work today too. My last table I had a husband and wife. The wife looked familiar at first I thought she might have been my math professor. But after I heard her talk I knew she wasn't. A little later she asked me what school I went to and I told her and she said she thought I looked familiar. Turns out that she was my assistant principal at my high school and she remembered me. I think that she was at the high school that I went to my freshman year also. I went to a different high school because they were building a new one and I lived in the boundary lines to switch. And I think that she transferred over. If I'm right then she was the one my freshman year that always busted me for "too short" shorts. Which in my opinion our shorts weren't too short and the administrators were just being shorts nazis. I just thought it was funny that she recognized me because its been a good 4 years ago and I really didn't stand out in school...at least I didn't think I did.

Tomorrow the early intervention lady is coming to the house so I have to wake up early to clean the floors. My mom said that she was making a visit to the house to see what condition we live in because I'm young and single. And that when my little sister (who walked late also because she was very sick with protussis(sp?) in the PICU for almost 2 months when she was a baby so it set her back a little) went through EI they didn't come over to the house. And that it was because she was older, married and had other kids. Another discrimination against young single mothers.

A Little Model...crazy hair and all

2009-04-23T23:30:00.005-04:00

The other day I took my camera out and snapped a picture of Maddie. I realized that she was sitting still and smiling and she wanted me to take more pictures of her! So she started posing, it was too cute. The top picture, though, I put on here to show the face she puts on when she scratches her legs (she still has pretty bad excema although sometimes we think she scratches out of habit) she puts on this concentrated face and scratches with one finger. It's funny to watch in person, the way she does it. She likes to look at the pictures of herself now too. She'll point at them and babble something.

There isn't to much to update about Maddie. She'll be 16 months on Sunday!!.. aww my baby! The Early Steps program from USF contacted me the other day. Apparently they skipped over the screening and sent a referral for her to be evaluated by them. So a lady is going to come to our house on Monday. I don't think she is really going to do anything with Maddie. She told me she was just going to give me some papers to sign. I'm sure she'll probably ask me some questions also. At least the process didn't take over a month like I thought it was going to.

As for me. Just the usual. School. Work. Madison. I don't work that much anymore, maybe 20-25 hours a week (if that). No more double shifts and 35-40 hours a week! I mean working a lot is fine when you like your job and you want to be there. My job has its ups and downs. But I definately would never want to be there forever. I work with a few people that have been servers at the OG for 15 years. No thank you! School is still going good. This semester seems like it is going to be pretty easy. It's either that or last semester just seemed harder to me because I was getting used to going back to school.. I don't know ask me again in a few weeks when midterms come around! I've been getting A's on my math tests. My teacher is a pretty good teacher. I asked her since I'm getting A's on my tests if I'll pretty much pass the class. She laughed at me and said yeah that's pretty much how it goes. I have that career development development class tomorrow morning. Which is one of those pointless classes with a pointless teacher that has a heavy accent (she apparently speaks 4 languages) and is a little off her rocker. I also have to work tomorrow night. Which is something I was trying to avoid.. going to class and work the same day. But it's not too bad because I only have to do it for 3 more weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to work it out next semester so it won't happen again.

S -C A T- T E R E D

2009-04-20T15:05:00.006-04:00

So I've been saying that today was going to be a busy day and that me and Maddie had a lot to do. Yeah I'm just being a lazy bum! I did a little bit. I put my clothes away that were in my room I still have to put Maddie's away. I finished up my written schoolwork for class tomorrow. I still have to study but I'll do that tonight after I put Maddie to bed. I wanted to go to the bank and the store but it's kind of late and Madison is still in bed from her nap and we aren't dressed yet... yes it is 3 o'clock. The weather hasn't been very nice out anyway. I have to do a little bit of laundry. And Maddie still doesn't have a pediatrician. I called to get the number of this one doctor but 411 didn't have a listing for him. So tomorrow after school I'll go by her previous pediatrician and ask for a list of names so I can call Medicaid and tell them which HMO I want to be on. I didn't go to the gym all last week. So I'm probably gonna go tonight with or without my friend.

Madison still isn't walking! I see these babies that are younger than her walking and running around. Her crawling around every where is rough on her legs and makes her excema worse and since her skin is sensitive anyways her knees bleed even when she has pants on. Speaking of putting her pants on. Just about all her pants have lovely holes in the knees from her crawling. She'll stand by herself but then she'll fall because she thinks the falling is funny.

Well that was my scattered post.
Here is the s-cat-tered part of the post
wow is that corny?

These are pictures of Maddie and our cat Sammy. Madison loves the cat. She goes over to him and "pets" him. And the cat just sits there. Sometimes she'll get in the cats face and have a conversation with him.
That was the fifrst and last time we put the cat in the crib in there with her. He never has gotten in their by himself. He hardly ever gets in my room because I just kick him right back out.

The Weekend

2009-04-19T20:20:00.010-04:00

This weekend my dad and stepmom came into town to visit. On Saturday they spent a little bit of time with us and then went to dinner. Maddie behaved pretty good. At dinner there were these two little blonde boys sitting at the table behind us (I guess they reminded her of Josh and Jason even though they were younger) oh boy, when they caught her eye she smiled real big and started waving and saying hi to them over and over. (Her "hi" sounds more like "ha".) It was so funny because she's never said hi like that to anyone else except for us when we walk in the door. It was like she was so excited to see these two little boys. Today we took Maddie to the zoo for the first time! I was surprised at how attentive she was to the animals. Her favorite were the birds. She was saying hi to them and laughing. But then she would get startled when they would flap their wings. And of course she didn't like it when the animals got too close. Here are some pictures from our day today...

Looking at the birds..

Looking at the monkeys..

This orangutan had his face plastered right up against the glass. I wanted to get Maddie's picture taken sitting next to him...

...but she was NOT having it!

It really freaked her out... I guess you can't blame her!

Maddie looking at the White Tigers..
This animal she was excited to see for some reason. She was waving hi and pulling towards it...

At the elephants...
<

Bald Eagles...

...and Manatees

I really wanted to get our picture taken with the giraffe (so much that we went back a second time after the first failed attempt) because they were so close to us (people were feeding them). Maddie.. not so much. Apparently the giraffe's tongue came out right behind my head. I didn't see it but Maddie did and she started screaming.

At the petting zoo..

..she doesn't look to impressed

...and an exhausted Maddie falling asleep with her PB&J still in her hand.
It was a fun day but we were both pretty beat afterwards. She took a little nap in the car ride home. And then when we got home she was all happy and excited to be home and free on the floor. But that didn't last too long. She started getting unbearable. So needless to say she went to sleep before it was even dark.

I'm pretty sleepy myself. And tomorrow we have a lot to do. So I'm probably going to bed soon myself...and it is only 9:30. Oh the life of a mommy! ;)

Color Me Pretty

2009-04-14T15:46:00.007-04:00

Yesterday Maddie was a little cranky in the morning so I put her down for an early nap. As a result she was pretty cranky in the evening also because she was tired earlier. But we attempted to color anyways with her first coloring book and crayons that she got from the Easter Bunny!

Here is Sarah showing Maddie how to color...

...even though she would rather play with the crayons...

...she finally got the gist of it...

...and here she is just being a goof!

Today has been a nasty, rainy, thunderstorm kind of day all day. So we haven't gone anywhere. I just went to school this morning. While I was in class a lady from the early intervention program called me and asked me a few questions and now I have to wait for USF to call me so we can get an appointment scheduled. Madison still doesn't have any insurance. The Florida KidCare application is processing though so hopefully she'll have insurance by next month. It just kind of sucks that I have to change pediatricians though since hers doesn't take KidCare.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T20:32:00.012-04:00

Here are some pictures during the day of Maddie's second Easter...

Here is her Easter basket all set up for her by the Easter Bunny the night before

...in all her morning glory...

...uhh!! whats that?!...
...uh-oh! what did she find??...

...could it be?! a tete!...
(aka pacifier)

...how exciting!...

...she is too funny.

Maddie and the Fork

2009-04-10T12:53:00.002-04:00

Today at lunch I made Maddie mac-n-cheese, which she loves. Well, shhe doesn't know how to eat with a fork yet so I gave her one. First she ignored it. So I tried to put it in her hand but she didn't get it. So I stabbed a macaroni and put it in her hand and guided it to her mouth. And then she caught on to holding the fork. Of course she wanted to take the food off the end of the fork with her fingers and then eat it. But she was starting to get the hang of it, somewhat. But the funny thing was that she was cracking up the whole time. She thought the process of using the fork was hilarious. She still wanted to use her hands though.. but we will work on that. Her second plate of mac-n-cheese was empty and she was starting to fuss so I thought she was done so I took the plate. She squealed at me! And then got happy when I put the plate back. She was not done! So I let her finish off the rest of the box. I think she ate more than me! Needless to say when she was done she was a big cheesy, cranky mess!

April 9, 2007

2009-04-09T13:01:00.002-04:00

Today is the two year anniversary of my Papa's death. He died of pancreatic cancer. His cancer wasn't too prolonged and he died at home instead of in a hospital. He never got to meet Maddie. I was pregnant when he died I just didn't know it yet. There are two things about his death that will forever be burned into my memory. The first thing being his last Christmas with us. I remember when my grandparents were at our house (it was probably a few days before Christmas) he was siting in our big chair and I was on the couch beside him. He looked at me and said in his drawn out southern voice "Monica you know I have cancer." "Yes Papa I know." "Now I don't have very long to live." "Don't say that Papa everything will be fine." As you can see I wasn't sure how to respond to that. It threw me off guard! Then at Christmas. I think it was Christmas Day because they probably left right after Christmas to go back home. We were saying our goodbyes and Papa said goodbye to me for good. He gave me a big hug and said "Now Monica you take care of yourself. Go to school and do something with your life. If not for anyone else do it for me." Wow! He had never said anything like that to me before. When I was telling my family about the conversations he had with me I found out that he hadn't brought up how he had cancer or said anything like what he said on Christmas to anyone else except for me. They saud it was probably because he knew that it was going to be the last time he ever would ever see me again. And it was. My aunt and uncle and cousin went up to visit on his birthday. And my mom, stepdad and the kids were there when he died (they were only there to visit but they ended up staying up there as my grandpa got worse). The day he died my cousin and aunt were driving up there because he wasn't doing well. I was working at Olive Garden down in South Florida. My cousin had been calling me for the past few days letting me know that he wasn't doing good at all. Then she called me while at work and I saw that I had a voicemail from her and I knew he had passed. So I left work and arrangements were made for me to fly to Tampa and then drive up to North Carolina with my uncle and my cousins husband. There were a lot of family and friends that went to his wake and funeral. The funeral home was packed with people saying there goodbyes and giving their love and support. But the second thing that will be burned in my memory forever is the viewing that was just for the immediate family before everybody else arrived. I haven't had many people close to me die. Actually my grandpa is the first death that I have experienced like this. The funeral director had me, my mom, my grandma, my aunt and my cousin walk in the room first. This being my first experience with anything like this I didn't know what to expect. As soon as we walked in the room and saw him we all started crying. I remember my aunt breaking down crying daddy daddy. We all hugged each other and when my grandma gave me a hug she was crying and told me that he loved me very much and always worried about me and just wanted the best for me. After the viewing we went to the church for the funeral service. It was the same church where they had their 50th wedding anniversary celebration. The pastor said a few words and read from the Bible. One of the verses he read was the one that Josh had learned and he wanted to call Papa and read him the verse because he knew he was sick and he wanted to make him feel better. After the service they had our family walk out of the church first. I just remember trying to walk quickly because I really didn't want anyone to look at me while I was crying. Even though I know it's okay for people to see my cry. While they were putting his coffin in the hirsch so we could go to his burial site I remember my cousin breaking down. After the pastor was done saying a few words at the burial site and we walked out from the under the tent I remember my mom breaking down. The only other funeral I had been to was my great-grandmothers. And I remember them lowering her coffin into the ground and the immediate family put roses on top of the coffin and said there last goodbyes as it was being lowered. But they didn't do it for him. My mom said that some people don't think it's appropriate for the family to watch their loved one being lowered into the ground. My grandpa was buried with a home made bird caller he used when he went hunting, a trucker hat that had me and my cousins faces on it that was made for him when we were younger and a cookie monster stuffed animal that the kids gave him in hopes that it would make him feel better.

Pics and School

2009-04-07T14:47:00.006-04:00

Didn't her pictures come out adorable! I'm sending them out today.

I started a whole new term at school today. I had my early childhood education class today. It's my second term. The professor in that class is the ECE pragram director. I had heard she is a very book oriented teacher and it's true. Different then my first ECE teacher. But I kind of like that so it should be a good class. I'm excited! There are only 8 of us in the class and I know 4 of the other people from my previous class. So that was nice. It makes the school experience so much more enjoyable since the classes are so small. It's fun and easier to have class discussions that way. Thursday nights I have CP Math. Uggh I hate math and I have to take 2 terms of it instead of 1 since I didn't test into college level math. Then Friday mornings I have a 6 week Career Development class that everyone has to take.

I wish

2009-04-04T20:17:00.004-04:00

I wish I had written in the baby princess calendar my mom gave me when Madison was born. I was stupid not to keep writing in it and keep track of the things that Maddie did for her first year. But I didn't! I don't even think I kept it up for 2 months! Oh well...

Today wasn't too exciting. We were just home all day. Madison's excema is getting better. The cream and medicine seem to be helping. Tonight after her bath she started throwing a temper tantrum on the changing table when I was trying to put her cream on her and dress her. She was kicking at me and scratching at me. The minute.. no second I picked her up she gave me the biggest smile and giggle. What a brat! She was tired though. Here's a picture of her nightly routine...

We have to lay her right under her crib toy so that she can hold on to that little blue ring and that is how she falls asleep! It's pretty funny. Not surprising though. Even since she was smaller she had to be holding on to our finger while she was falling asleep drinking her bottle. And before she discovered the blue ring I would lay her down in her crib and she would hold her little hand up and search for a finger to grab.

I love my daughter

2009-04-02T23:18:00.007-04:00

Now I love my daughter and it's obvious that I couldn't of imagined a more beautiful little girl. And I am so thankful that she was born healthy. But I had her so young. I had her with a guy that doesn't deserve to be her father. I had her knowing that I couldn't give her a "normal foundation of family". I had her without having any stability or foundation in my own life because I was only 19. I had her knowing that my life was never going to be the same again. I had her knowing I wasn't going to be able have the freedom that a lot of my friends have. I had her not knowing what I was doing or where I was going in life and it was scary. It is still scary. And it is still hard. My mom helped me out A LOT in the beginning with my pregnancy and Madison and making sure I had everything I needed for the baby. And she still helps me out a lot. I was going through sooooo many emotions when I was pregnant and when Madison was first born. Moving back up here was a lot for me to handle and it was hard. (Maybe I'll get into that on a later day). The first year that I was here and Maddie's first few months felt like a dream. I still have to stop myself sometimes and be like wow this is my life and this little girl is really MY daughter. I've made some progress since then but definately not as much as I want to. Since I've gone back to school I know a little more what I am going to do with my future and I have a goal. But there is more pressure on me to do it now because of Madison. And I am doing it. I want Maddie to think of her mom as strong and independant. I have a drive now. I have a goal. I have a drive. I have a purpose. I can't mess up again because I have Madison. I'm not perfect. And I am not a naturally ambitous or driven person. It might have taken me a little bit but I have made my FIRST step to independence and so far (even though it's my first semester) I've been doing good (A's and B's- the A was in my first teaching class). I really don't think I would of had a drive or will to better myself before I had Madison. I think I would have been fine and content with my life of fooling around and doing nothing until it might of been too late and I would have been stuck. I had to learn the hard way though. And I have missed out on a lot because I had a baby so young. And I've lost my chance to know what it's like to do the whole marriage and family thing the "right and accepted" way. But like I said I love my daughter. I love her more than I love my own life. And I am so glad I had her even though it's hard and I know it's just going to get harder. And it hurts me that she doesn't have a good father. But she has family that love her a lot. The family that has chosen to be in her life. Sometimes I feel guilty because of how I had her. I don't want her to be angry at me for having her too young and with a guy that doesn't want to be in her life. That thought alone makes me want to better myself fo her. So she can look at her mom as a role model. So she can look at her mom as someone who beat the odds. But I AM realistic and I know that things are going to take time.

Just some thoughts...

Maddie Things

2009-04-02T12:14:00.005-04:00

Maddie does new things everyday. She's so much fun. She usually sleeps pretty late in the mornings she always has. But now if she wakes up before I want to get up I can turn the TV on and she watches it for a little bit. She loves to eat pasta. She usually keeps herself busy playing with her toys. She is also into dancing with music now. It's so cute she swings herself around and acts like she is snapping her fingers. She seems to have a lot to say and she is very animated! She "talks" by making noise while she moves her tongue around and she usually doesn't move her mouth. And she'll point with her finger while she is "talking" to you. Her new real words she says now are all done and peek-a-boo. When the kids are playing outside with their friends she'll go to the back door and sit their and watch them the whole time. Here are some pictures of what she likes to do!

Here she is reading to Nana the Great when she was visiting us. She loves that book... notice the pointing.
Here she is playing with Sarah's princess keyboard. She was pressing the buttons and dancing and laughing.

Yesterday I picked up her new medicine that the pediatrician called in for me since her excema is still really bad. She prescribed a stronger hydrocortizone and an oral medicine in case it's an skin infection that she has. So hopefully this helps because she is always itching and seems a little irritable by her rashes.

Getting Ready for Easter

2009-03-30T21:41:00.007-04:00

Maddie saw the Easter Bunny this morning! As you can see smiling but tense. There was no line.. unlike the hour and 15 minutes we had to stand in line for Santa Clause and then I paid 20 dollars for a picture of her screaming it was still cute though. She started to freak out at first and then she started to pet the bunny's ear. And I put her on the lap and we quickly distracted her so she did an awkward transition from crying to smiling lol. But I'm happy with it. It's a cute picture.

She was kind of cranky today mainly this morning. And she didn't eat any of her lunch. I think her tummy hurt. After her second, shall I say "relief" later on tonight she was in a happier mood. Jason got out Sarah's big kitchen and the pots and pans that go with it and she got so excited! Before that me and the boys took her outside on her Leap Frog choo choo train. Which is one of her favorite toys

She was laughing at the boys and then I think she had enough. It was hot out and she gets cranky when she is hot. Like mother like daughter ;).

Quick One

2009-03-26T23:10:00.004-04:00

Maddie's Easter pics yesterday went sooo good! I can't wait until I get them she smiled a lot and they came out really cute. Her excema is still bad. Her pediatrician said to call her if it isn't better in a week and she'll call in a steroid cream for her. I'm most likely going to end up having to do that. I'm officially finished with my first semester of school!! YAY!! I'm on spring break and then I start again on the 7th.
Well, that's it for now! goodnight

Long Day...Long Post

2009-03-24T21:37:00.008-04:00

Today was a long day. I went to school and read my research paper that counted as the final. Which feels sooo wonderful to be done with it! Then I cam ehome for about an hour and took Maddie to the doctor for her rash. Since she had a rash we had to go in through the back door in case it is contagious. So we sat alone in a room in the back. Maddie must of known where we were because everytime she saw someone in scrubs she cried. We sat back there for about 30 minutes and then when the medical assistant came to get us to weigh her she immediately stiffened up in my arms and then screamed when I put her on the scale like she usually does. Then we sat for another 30 mimnutes waiting for her pediatrician. And of course Maddie cried when she saw her to. And when she realized we were completely finshed she was all smiles, the lil booger! Our pediatrician said it was a really bad case of excema and to keep doing what we have been doing... putting aquafor and hydrocortizone on her and giving her oatmeal baths. She also gave me Zyrtec and a non-steroid cream (that I think stings my poor baby because she cried sooo sad when I put it on her after her bath tonight!).

Here she is in her oatmeal bath tonight. (Sorry I'm still using pictures from my phone so they aren't very good). It's a good thing she loves playing in her bath so she can soak in it for about 20 minutes. I also told the pediatrician that she still isn't walking yet. She said that I have the option of taking her to Early Intervention. So I think that I'll do that to see what they say and if they can help her out a little bit. It couldn't hurt. After the dr. we went to pick up the kids and take them to music. Then we met everybody at Wendy's and after that me and Maddie went to Babies R Us to look for white shoes because I'm getting Maddie's Easter pictures taken tomorrow. I didn't find the shoes in right size but I found an outfit that says Mommy's Little Angel! :) We got home at 8 and I still had some things I had to get done so I didn't get Maddie into bed until 9. Which was fine because she was perfectly happy crawling around. Lately she's been going to bed pretty early, usually around 8.

That's about it for our day today. Hopefully she'll be good for her pictures tomorrow! Here are a few more pictures of Maddie. A few weeks ago I was messing around and got an idea to try to straighten her hair! Well it didn't work out to good (I didn't think it would lol.. but I just wanted to see!) and she didn't appreciate it too much. I just ended up wetting her hair and letting it curl back up again but the pictures are pretty funny!

She was with Christa so she was reaching for me. And then the second picture I took her and she was more relaxed. What a mama's girl!

Madison, Madison, Madison

2009-03-21T13:35:00.004-04:00

My baby girl is almost 15 months old!!! It's gone by sooo quickly! This picture is of her dancing in the car and trying to snap her fingers.

She has been a little bit on the fuzzy side these last couple of days. I am hoping that doesn't mean she is getting sick. I think it's just because she is getting her 'fang' teeth. And she has really bad excema on her legs. It is really bad! I have been giving her oatmeal baths and putting hydrocortizone and aquafor on her. I can tell it bothers her because I catch her scratching her legs occasionally.

She is such a funny little thing. She loves going outside and swinging on her swing while she watches the kids run around and play in the backyard. She is the loudest little baby you will ever come across! She says bye-bye, hi, yay and uh-oh. (She usually says uh-oh before she throws a toy). Growling is still her primary form of communication though, especially when she disagrees with something! She also will hug her baby doll when you tell her to be nice to her baby. But she rather watch someone else say aww to the baby. She is really into showing off when someone is over at the house. She thinks she is hilarious... and she's right!

Still learning..

2009-03-18T14:45:00.002-04:00

Well as you can see I just started this blogging thing. And I look at other peoples blogs and I see how pretty they are and I don't know how they get like that! So if you happen to come by my page and you know how to do all that fancy stuff if you would be oh so kind to shoot me a message and help me out a little ;) .. I also have to get some pics on my computer since they all got erased so I can post pics up of Maddie... But I've been a little busy with school.. at least I am TRYING to be busy with school. I have a 5 page paper that counts as our final due on Tuesday and I really haven't started yet. Yes I am probably the BIGGEST possible procrastinator you will ever meet!! I also have to catch up on my computer class before tonights deadline. I had to call out of work today because I was of course told at the last minute that I have to watch the kids. So lets all pray that I don't kill my brother Joshua before the night is over. He seems to be in an okay mood since he got home though so maybe he'll be alright today.
Well I need to do my paper so maybe more later..

My First Post

2009-03-05T23:48:00.002-05:00

I decided to start into blogging as a way to vent about things. And let my family know how me and Maddie are doing. Well she is 14 months now and the sweetest little girl you will ever meet with the BIGGEST personality you ever did see! She has quite a temper that we are trying to make sure it doesn't get any worse! She loves her family. She still isn't walking yet but we are hoping that she catches on soon!
As for me, I am working at Olive Garden part time as a server and going to school full time at a trade school. I'm going to get my associate's in Early Childhood Education adn then go on to USF to get my Bachelor's. I am currently single which is perfectly fine with me. Madison, school and work keep me plenty busy!
My computer got a virus so all the pictures on my computer got erased. But I'll be putting pictures up eventually when I have time to put them all on my computer again.